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Entry tags:
Mental Health
I keep wanting to write something longer, but I haven't managed to. After talking on Wednesday to both Danae and the counselor I've been seeing, I'm acknowledging that I likely have clinically significant anxiety problems that I've been mostly ignoring for a long time. It continues to be difficult for me to say that; not because of any associated stigma, but because I still don't feel like I have a valid perspective to make statements like that about my own mental state. Getting that reinforcement from outside helps, though I still have self-doubt.
At present, and particularly over the last couple days, my daily functioning is somewhat compromised. I'm pursuing a diagnosis and more professional help of some kind. The next step is going to the counseling center again on Monday when they're open; I called their crisis number on Friday but they were closed for the holiday and, understandably, are limiting intervention beyond phone calls to people who are a danger to themselves or others. (Not me; yay!) But I'm having a lot of doubt about most everything at the moment, particularly both short-term and long-term academic prospects. It also feels much, much easier to just eat chocolate and ice cream instead of washing dishes so I can eat real food. Though thanks to a nudge from Danae, I got that much accomplished earlier today. Today, I need to try to write an email to my advisor and program director. I've been putting off emailing my advisor since Monday and I'm not even sure why. I wasn't feeling as bad back then, but it all feels like so much.
So that's where I am. I want to write people back on my slide rule post, but I haven't managed to. I appreciate the thoughts and sharing of experiences. I'm really glad you're all there.
At present, and particularly over the last couple days, my daily functioning is somewhat compromised. I'm pursuing a diagnosis and more professional help of some kind. The next step is going to the counseling center again on Monday when they're open; I called their crisis number on Friday but they were closed for the holiday and, understandably, are limiting intervention beyond phone calls to people who are a danger to themselves or others. (Not me; yay!) But I'm having a lot of doubt about most everything at the moment, particularly both short-term and long-term academic prospects. It also feels much, much easier to just eat chocolate and ice cream instead of washing dishes so I can eat real food. Though thanks to a nudge from Danae, I got that much accomplished earlier today. Today, I need to try to write an email to my advisor and program director. I've been putting off emailing my advisor since Monday and I'm not even sure why. I wasn't feeling as bad back then, but it all feels like so much.
So that's where I am. I want to write people back on my slide rule post, but I haven't managed to. I appreciate the thoughts and sharing of experiences. I'm really glad you're all there.