These things are so complex. Even as a cis women they're hard to navigate. Like, toxic beauty industry, I get it, right. But. Growing up, most of the girls who were against conforming to the standards set by the toxic beauty industry, the ones who encouraged growing leg and armpit hair and foregoing makeup were thinner than me, blonder than me, definitely lighter-skinned than all of our brown and Black friends and classmates, and had no problem passing as femme. Whereas my chubby, Jewish, hairy self failed to read as femme enough—in the sense that I was perceived as A Girl and thus desirable of affection—unless I dressed in femme clothing and wore makeup and removed my body hair. It struck me as very easy to reject these norms if you already naturally conform to most of them. And much harder for those of us who for whatever reason do not.

Of course that's changed—I have friends who challenge gender norms in more overt ways, and middle aged fat women who just don't give a fuck about how they're perceived, though that, too, is a function of privilege as fuck knows I'd be seen as unprofessional if I didn't wear a structured bra to work—but it's stuck in my head as A Thing. That while toxic, performing femininity can also be liberating, because that is really the only way to see ourselves, having grown up in this fucked up society, as feminine.

Ultimately all a trans woman should have to do is say she's a woman. That's it. No questions asked. That would be an ideal world. But we live in a more complex world.

Anyway you look great and I'm glad you're embracing the happy.