She and I were both struck by how we hadn't managed to communicate well about this given how well we communicate about everything else! This is one of the biggest instances we've ever had I think, but there haven't been too many so that's a low bar.

I'm sorry you're having trouble finding that balance. It's hard as hell. I do feel a little guilty about what I want and the risks I'm willing to take. I really believe Covid could turn out to be something like Polio, with long-term effects that only come to light years down the line. And I honestly don't care because I'm so tired of not having the life that I want. I feel like if I don't have that life now, then it doesn't matter *why* I don't have it, I'm still not going to have it and I will regret that for the rest of my life. Maybe even get bitter and resentful about it. (Though I guess I'm already kind of bitter and resentful about all the people who won't even take basic simple precautions...)