Sleep Thoughts

I've had more evenings lately where I don't want to lie down and sleep because that means I'll have to get up in the morning with one less day to get all the things done that need doing. So instead, I stay up far into the morning doing unproductive things because I'm too tired to concentrate, but I at least feel like I have control over my time. I don't want to climb up into my loft to go to sleep; it feels disconnecting. I'd rather lie down in my recliner and nap, which feels irrationally and categorically different. It may also be that that's where Danae and I spent a lot of time while she was visiting and it's comforting.

I've been napping during the day lately; I did that again today after grocery shopping and was awoken by my brand-new medication time alarm. When it goes off, I can't help but think of the woman who played Nurse Ratched in the production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that I was Chief Bromden in, years back, speaking over the on-stage PA. "Medication time. Medication time. All patients to the day room for medication." I still remember chunks of my monologues from that show. "Can you hear it Papa? The black machine. They got it going fourteen stories below the ground. They put people in one end, and out comes what they want." Though Bromden has a lot of lines in the play, most of them are delivered at night, to an empty room. In the day, with other people around, he's essentially catatonic; unwilling and uninterested in dealing with the world. Terrified when he's forced to. For that part of the role, I borrowed some of the feelings I used to have when I was in elementary school, junior high, and to some degree, high school.

Hopefully I'll get myself to try going to sleep pretty soon here, in one place or another.

Schedule Disruption

Despite being really tired last night, I couldn't sleep until five in the morning. I'd planned to go try the other Indian lunch buffet here in town before getting to work, but I only just woke up. And now I'm ravenous. I'm tempted to go out for Chinese buffet somewhere....

I felt odd, waking up. Kind of floaty and a little like I was still dreaming. Danae says this is normal and ok, which relieved my anxiety about the situation. Still, my schedule for school and my psychological services evaluation and my meeting with my advisor may be difficult depending on sleep schedule.

---Ooops, The nearest buffet to me is closed. And I don't want to bike as far as the other two right now. No Chinese for me I guess.

Holiday Travel

I just reserved a car to drive back to Chicago on December 16th. At about $90 with insurance, it's at least comparable to flying. (Though that doesn't count the gas, gas won't be too much for a compact.) And I don't like flying, and I do like long-distance road trips. So yay!

Ok, I need to get to some school work now. I will manage the rest of this semester.

Misogynist Memery

In response to a meme elsewhere: people actually say that women are lying to men by wearing makeup? People actually, seriously express that kind of absurd conflation of malformed thoughts with a straight face? This is why we need feminism.

Midwest Furfest

Me at my first convention that I want to all by myself without my parents; Midwest FurFest 2002.





One of these days, hopefully, I'll make it back. I hope everyone there this weekend had a good time. And thanks again to the staff for making it clear that wearing and carrying Confederate symbols is not socially acceptable. That makes me feel good about the community.