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Holiday Greetings
It's the time of year for there to be a bunch of discussion (and probably even more of that pale imitation thereof, memes) about what is and isn't ok as an expression of positive holiday sentiment to someone whose religion and/or cultural background you don't know.
I used to be firmly in the 'as long as the intent is positive, the form doesn't really matter' camp. However, having talked about it a lot with my partner Danae, who is from a culturally Jewish background, I've come to realize that there is a certain level of cultural privilege that's hiding in that attitude. "Merry Christmas" as a default greeting is a small reinforcing of hegemonic Christian culture. It's like AD and BC attached to calendar years to indicate some nebulous relationship to the birth of a Christian relgious figure; it forces people who are not a part of that culture into passively validating cultural imperialism. Sure, it's 'just a little thing.' I don't plan to start policing other people's usage of it outside my own space. But it's something that I can keep consciously in mind to to help fight some largely unexamined cultural privilege. The most lasting and transformative insight I've had from talking with her came from me saying that Christmas feels to me like a largely secular holiday. Her response, that it's almost always people from a Christian background who have that attitude, was both something I'd never considered and something I immediately saw the validity of. It's easy to think that these things don't matter that much when the default way of things validates your own assumptions and experiences.
Danae commented on this elsewhere herself, and doesn't mind if I include her thoughts with mine:
"I absolutely hate it when people wish me a Merry Christmas. I know that those who do so do it with the best of intentions, but I think they'd benefit from considering the possibility that not everyone they encounter is Christian or prefers to be constantly reminded that the dominant religious culture in our society is Christian. Part of being in a majority is the obligation to try to understand the feelings and perspective of the minority, not to run slipshod over them. Coming from a Christian background -- even a secular one -- is a place of privilege. You CAN'T know what it was like to grow up in this culture as a non-Christian just as I can't know what it is like to grow up black. For most of my life, I've silently stewed about this. But last winter I decided to take a new tack. When people wish me a merry christmas, I'll respond by saying, "Thanks, but I'm not Christian." I don't want to be combative. I just want to remind them that not everyone is Christian, and that those of us who are not actually have a much bigger emotional stake in this issue than those who are."
I used to be firmly in the 'as long as the intent is positive, the form doesn't really matter' camp. However, having talked about it a lot with my partner Danae, who is from a culturally Jewish background, I've come to realize that there is a certain level of cultural privilege that's hiding in that attitude. "Merry Christmas" as a default greeting is a small reinforcing of hegemonic Christian culture. It's like AD and BC attached to calendar years to indicate some nebulous relationship to the birth of a Christian relgious figure; it forces people who are not a part of that culture into passively validating cultural imperialism. Sure, it's 'just a little thing.' I don't plan to start policing other people's usage of it outside my own space. But it's something that I can keep consciously in mind to to help fight some largely unexamined cultural privilege. The most lasting and transformative insight I've had from talking with her came from me saying that Christmas feels to me like a largely secular holiday. Her response, that it's almost always people from a Christian background who have that attitude, was both something I'd never considered and something I immediately saw the validity of. It's easy to think that these things don't matter that much when the default way of things validates your own assumptions and experiences.
Danae commented on this elsewhere herself, and doesn't mind if I include her thoughts with mine:
"I absolutely hate it when people wish me a Merry Christmas. I know that those who do so do it with the best of intentions, but I think they'd benefit from considering the possibility that not everyone they encounter is Christian or prefers to be constantly reminded that the dominant religious culture in our society is Christian. Part of being in a majority is the obligation to try to understand the feelings and perspective of the minority, not to run slipshod over them. Coming from a Christian background -- even a secular one -- is a place of privilege. You CAN'T know what it was like to grow up in this culture as a non-Christian just as I can't know what it is like to grow up black. For most of my life, I've silently stewed about this. But last winter I decided to take a new tack. When people wish me a merry christmas, I'll respond by saying, "Thanks, but I'm not Christian." I don't want to be combative. I just want to remind them that not everyone is Christian, and that those of us who are not actually have a much bigger emotional stake in this issue than those who are."