stormdog | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

I'm trying to learn a new thing and the experience I'm having is not one I'm used to, though it's been more common over the past years, especially since the fire. New understandings won't stay in my head. I read a thing and turn it around in my head until it makes sense, and then ten seconds later it's gone. It's making it impossible for me to learn things that are new and complex and I hate it and it's scary and it's making me cry.

I really hope it's just trauma making my brain not work and that it won't be like this forever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I had something like that happen after I had the stroke. Right now, I have trouble telling time, or remembering what day of the week it is. And in the earlier days, I forgot how to do stuff I'd been doing since I was knee-high to a kitchen chair, like making pie crust. My hands forgot how to do it. I called upon the spirits of my mother and my aunt, who taught me to cook, and tried to find my muscle-memory of the task, and I got the pie made. I still don't feel comfortable about driving - I won't react fast enough, or I'll react too fast - so I'm going to find the muscle-memory from my father teaching me to drive, and see if I can get it back again.

Usually it's just stress; you DO eventually get your brain back, but it happens sort of slowly.

Thank you for sharing your experiences: it helps.

That's why I decided to tell my story. And pschological and/or emotional stress are just as "real" as physical stress - they have physiological effects. One often-recomennded remedy for stress is to "take a walk outside in nature". (Doesn't work for me; the idea of taking a walk is stressful, and I'm a really bad Pagan, because I don't like Nature - too cold, too hot, sun's too bright, it's raining, pollen in the air, biting insects, uneven ground dangerous to walk on, etc. I like enjoying Nature by looking out through the window of an airliner.)

Trauma brain definitely does this. Source: having trauma brain.

I've come to feel like, as human beings, our job is basically to wander around the world collecting trauma until we die.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only