(no subject)
I'm sure most of you have read all about my adventure this morning in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wooisme's journal already, but since I took the trouble to write this up and everything... *smiles wanly*
...
I don't often post 'I want to curl up in a ball and spend a while hiding from the world' posts and this won't be one either, however much I felt that way this morning. I was pretty much a mental basket case at the time, but I'm doing much better now.
I was in an accident on the way to work today. It was a fairly serious one as such things go I think, though no one was hurt. Honestly, looking at the car I was in, I'm pretty surprised I wasn't hurt. Airbags work wonders, and I also couldn't help but be deeply respectful of the fantastic engineering that went into designing the front of the car to crumple up like an accordion and absorb all the energy of the crash. I'm not precisely sure of what really happened because I can't seem to remember the actual moment. My manager asked me if everything went into slow motion; I guess it does for most people. For me, it was all over in a blinding rush. Physically though, apart from a minor scratch on my wrist that I didn't even notice 'till a few minutes ago, I'm fine.
My mental status is pretty shaky, but slowly improving. I'm pretty rattled and my stomache is only now getting settled enough to eat without worrying about keeping food down. Which is good; I'll eat the rest of the bagel that Andrea bought for me and made sure I at least nibbled on. I needed food even though I wasn't up to eating it.
Andrea came and picked me up and drove me in to work; that's where I am now. I had mostly composed myself before walking into the building but I nearly lost it again as I talked to my manager and let him know I was in. He said that he was surprised that I even came in today (but I'm still glad I did) and let me take a while to sit in the break room and calm down again. He seemed to be honestly concerned about me; I think he's a good guy.
Legally, the accident is my fault. This would be true no matter what the circumstances; Michigan law stipulates that in a rear-ending, the driver behind is automatically at fault; end of story. I disagree with that assessment, but not totally: that's one of the things that disturbs me; I know that it's probably partially my fault. I have to be honest and admit that. Not wholly; a whole line of cars ahead of me apparently had to brake very quickly. While I was talking briefly with the people I hit (who actually had me come sit in their car with them to stay warm; they were really nice) told me that they'd had to hit the brakes hard and swerve over to not hit the person in front of them. When they did that I couldn't stop in time, so that was a big part of it.
On the other hand, I should have been giving the person ahead of me enough space to be able to stop. I used to be such a stickler about that too. Andrea has mentioned to me on several occasions that she feels I rely on my brakes too much. She's been right.
I don't think I could help but be much more cautious behind the wheel after this, and knowing that is probably one of the things that kept Andrea from being more upset with me than she was. Both for me and for her I need to change the way I've been driving. My motoring skills have been a victim of the old 'familiarity breeds contempt' adage. She was nothing but soothing and comforting to me this morning and I didn't feel like I deserved it.
I lean my head on my hand and I still smell the gas and powder that escaped from the airbags and the burning-sweet smell of leaking anti-freeze running down a hot engine block...
I've been throwing logic at this. I was terrified that this was going to screw up all of the plans that we've already set into motion for our upcoming move, but I think it's going to work out. Andrea talked about taking out a small loan for a replacement car and I think that makes sense. We have a decent amount in savings for the move and we should be able to get through this without depleting it.
I guess that's about all there is to say. I feel terrible about wrecking Andrea's car. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before and it's a lot to deal with. Andrea was invaluable to helping me start on that process this morning; I am forever in her debt for so many things.
wooisme's journal already, but since I took the trouble to write this up and everything... *smiles wanly*...
I don't often post 'I want to curl up in a ball and spend a while hiding from the world' posts and this won't be one either, however much I felt that way this morning. I was pretty much a mental basket case at the time, but I'm doing much better now.
I was in an accident on the way to work today. It was a fairly serious one as such things go I think, though no one was hurt. Honestly, looking at the car I was in, I'm pretty surprised I wasn't hurt. Airbags work wonders, and I also couldn't help but be deeply respectful of the fantastic engineering that went into designing the front of the car to crumple up like an accordion and absorb all the energy of the crash. I'm not precisely sure of what really happened because I can't seem to remember the actual moment. My manager asked me if everything went into slow motion; I guess it does for most people. For me, it was all over in a blinding rush. Physically though, apart from a minor scratch on my wrist that I didn't even notice 'till a few minutes ago, I'm fine.
My mental status is pretty shaky, but slowly improving. I'm pretty rattled and my stomache is only now getting settled enough to eat without worrying about keeping food down. Which is good; I'll eat the rest of the bagel that Andrea bought for me and made sure I at least nibbled on. I needed food even though I wasn't up to eating it.
Andrea came and picked me up and drove me in to work; that's where I am now. I had mostly composed myself before walking into the building but I nearly lost it again as I talked to my manager and let him know I was in. He said that he was surprised that I even came in today (but I'm still glad I did) and let me take a while to sit in the break room and calm down again. He seemed to be honestly concerned about me; I think he's a good guy.
Legally, the accident is my fault. This would be true no matter what the circumstances; Michigan law stipulates that in a rear-ending, the driver behind is automatically at fault; end of story. I disagree with that assessment, but not totally: that's one of the things that disturbs me; I know that it's probably partially my fault. I have to be honest and admit that. Not wholly; a whole line of cars ahead of me apparently had to brake very quickly. While I was talking briefly with the people I hit (who actually had me come sit in their car with them to stay warm; they were really nice) told me that they'd had to hit the brakes hard and swerve over to not hit the person in front of them. When they did that I couldn't stop in time, so that was a big part of it.
On the other hand, I should have been giving the person ahead of me enough space to be able to stop. I used to be such a stickler about that too. Andrea has mentioned to me on several occasions that she feels I rely on my brakes too much. She's been right.
I don't think I could help but be much more cautious behind the wheel after this, and knowing that is probably one of the things that kept Andrea from being more upset with me than she was. Both for me and for her I need to change the way I've been driving. My motoring skills have been a victim of the old 'familiarity breeds contempt' adage. She was nothing but soothing and comforting to me this morning and I didn't feel like I deserved it.
I lean my head on my hand and I still smell the gas and powder that escaped from the airbags and the burning-sweet smell of leaking anti-freeze running down a hot engine block...
I've been throwing logic at this. I was terrified that this was going to screw up all of the plans that we've already set into motion for our upcoming move, but I think it's going to work out. Andrea talked about taking out a small loan for a replacement car and I think that makes sense. We have a decent amount in savings for the move and we should be able to get through this without depleting it.
I guess that's about all there is to say. I feel terrible about wrecking Andrea's car. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before and it's a lot to deal with. Andrea was invaluable to helping me start on that process this morning; I am forever in her debt for so many things.