(no subject)
I'm having problems dealing with time management stress. This morning, I had a really embarrassing and inexcusable episode of throwing my shoes down the stairs because I'd forgotten some of my stuff in my room and had to go back upstairs to get it, and I don't allow shoes on the rug up there and I got really frustrated and took them off and threw one down to the landing where it hit the wall and broke the plaster and because I felt really bad about that I hit my head on the wall a few times and realized that I haven't done that in two or three years and that I may really need to change something.
It's kind of like having four relationships I think. School, work (at school), and my two partners in Chicago. School is pretty demanding this semester, as is work since I'm working two different places on campus. I have twelve credit hours, which by the rule of thumb of doubling time spent to account for work outside is 24 hours a week. Plus three credits worth of fieldwork, which would make for a total of 30 hours, though that's a little fuzzy. I work 12 hours a week at the archives, and another 12 hours at the help desk for a total of 24 hours. It seems dumb to count that as stress when, for the most part, I get to sit and work on homework, but at the same time, it's time that I'm not able to schedule in ways I want, that I have to be at school, that I have to find food to make there during, and that keeps me from getting enough sleep when I work 'till 10:30 and get home at 11, in bed at 12, and have to be up for school the next day.
I've committed 54 hours per week to school and work. I'm also one of only two people in the house who drive so I try to take housemates on shopping trips. When I shop for food myself, I always manage to do it when I'm on the way past a store anyway so I don't lose time, but my housemates need to make separate trips. And I'm trying to make it to club meetings at school.
And I'm trying to see my girlfriends on the weekend, who are an hour-and-a-half to two hours away. I can work on school stuff while I'm there of course, and I really don't want to compromise on my time seeing either of them because I get very little, but it's more time that I'm away from the house and my schedule is disrupted and if I need to research stuff at the library I'm too far away.
I'm thinking about dropping one of my classes. But I really don't want to do that because I don't feel like 15 credits in a semester should really be that much. I should be able to do that, and I think I need to if I'm going to do a double major. I could give up working at the archives or help desk, but then I'll have even less money. Though maybe I just need to stress less about drawing down money in my account from student loans and give up working at the help desk. I'm certainly not going to stop seeing Danae or Lisa. I've thought about priorities in my head and school is kind of my primary relationship right now, but my other ones are very important to me too.
I know there are people who manage with greater workloads, so I'm embarrassed that I have trouble with this at all. But I'm limited to my subjective experience, and that subjective experience feels really difficult right now. Which kind of makes me feel dumb and inadequate. That I should be able to manage this so much better than I am.
It's kind of like having four relationships I think. School, work (at school), and my two partners in Chicago. School is pretty demanding this semester, as is work since I'm working two different places on campus. I have twelve credit hours, which by the rule of thumb of doubling time spent to account for work outside is 24 hours a week. Plus three credits worth of fieldwork, which would make for a total of 30 hours, though that's a little fuzzy. I work 12 hours a week at the archives, and another 12 hours at the help desk for a total of 24 hours. It seems dumb to count that as stress when, for the most part, I get to sit and work on homework, but at the same time, it's time that I'm not able to schedule in ways I want, that I have to be at school, that I have to find food to make there during, and that keeps me from getting enough sleep when I work 'till 10:30 and get home at 11, in bed at 12, and have to be up for school the next day.
I've committed 54 hours per week to school and work. I'm also one of only two people in the house who drive so I try to take housemates on shopping trips. When I shop for food myself, I always manage to do it when I'm on the way past a store anyway so I don't lose time, but my housemates need to make separate trips. And I'm trying to make it to club meetings at school.
And I'm trying to see my girlfriends on the weekend, who are an hour-and-a-half to two hours away. I can work on school stuff while I'm there of course, and I really don't want to compromise on my time seeing either of them because I get very little, but it's more time that I'm away from the house and my schedule is disrupted and if I need to research stuff at the library I'm too far away.
I'm thinking about dropping one of my classes. But I really don't want to do that because I don't feel like 15 credits in a semester should really be that much. I should be able to do that, and I think I need to if I'm going to do a double major. I could give up working at the archives or help desk, but then I'll have even less money. Though maybe I just need to stress less about drawing down money in my account from student loans and give up working at the help desk. I'm certainly not going to stop seeing Danae or Lisa. I've thought about priorities in my head and school is kind of my primary relationship right now, but my other ones are very important to me too.
I know there are people who manage with greater workloads, so I'm embarrassed that I have trouble with this at all. But I'm limited to my subjective experience, and that subjective experience feels really difficult right now. Which kind of makes me feel dumb and inadequate. That I should be able to manage this so much better than I am.
