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Feb. 20th, 2013 09:11 amHere's one of the occasional bits that I can't write on Facebook.
I realized yesterday evening that a few people had sent me friend requests. Now, I'm annoyed with the way people on Facebook can send you friend requests and you still aren't allowed to look at their profile or timeline (if it's private) until you add them. But I added the couple people whose connection to me I could figure out. One of them was the current fiance (I'll call him A) of my brother's ex (who I'll call B). I know and like B and have for yeras. I've met A once. He seemed ok, but I'd heard a thing or two that make me a little unsure. But I figured I'd add him and see what he's like.
Shortly after I accepted the request, he was talking in IMs about how he hears that he and I have a lot in common, that we share a lifestyle, and that he'd like to get together. The comment about sharing a lifestyle immediately made me a little concerned. I know from context of previous discussions that he's talking about kink interests, and as well as the fact that I really do not think of it is a lifestyle, I think it's comically overbroad to assume that just because two people have an interest in kink, that there'll be much interest in common either within or outside that realm. I didn't want to be too skeptical though. Maybe he was just reaching out to make friends in a way that only appears slightly clumsy to me because we have a terminology mismatch or something.
Anyway, he expressed an interest in photography and said he heard that I'm really good and maybe I could teach him. "What kind of photography?" I asked. Fetish.
I wrote a few paragraphs back.
He responded by saying he shot that picture at such and such place with this kid of light source and how lucky he was to get the picture. I was puzzled about what he was referring to, but after a bit I clicked on his timeline and found a picture of B posed and clothed suggestively.
I haven't communicated back to him yet. If I do, I'm going to explain that I feel a little bit uncomfortable with seeing that sort of image. I'm fairly sure that she doesn't object to him showing her picture to people given what I know about their relationship. But even though I've had one or two kink-related discussions with A (One of which, surprisingly enough, included my mother!), I feel personally uncomfortable with seeing pictures of A in that context. And beyond that, I feel a bit odd about B seemingly disregarding my comments on fetish and portrait photography in general. Though I mentioned board games too at one point, it seemed like B had a particular goal for the conversation. Either that, or he's one of those guys who has this feeling that you can bond with people by sharing titillating material?
I don't feel like he did anything wrong, and I think there are a lot of people who wouldn't react the way I did. But I am not them and something about the whole interaction left me mildly uncomfortable.
(Plus, the rest of his Facebook wall was all memes, including that dangerously misinformative one about calling 112 to get the highway patrol. It may be elitist, but that lowers my opinion of his interest as a conversational partner online too....)
I realized yesterday evening that a few people had sent me friend requests. Now, I'm annoyed with the way people on Facebook can send you friend requests and you still aren't allowed to look at their profile or timeline (if it's private) until you add them. But I added the couple people whose connection to me I could figure out. One of them was the current fiance (I'll call him A) of my brother's ex (who I'll call B). I know and like B and have for yeras. I've met A once. He seemed ok, but I'd heard a thing or two that make me a little unsure. But I figured I'd add him and see what he's like.
Shortly after I accepted the request, he was talking in IMs about how he hears that he and I have a lot in common, that we share a lifestyle, and that he'd like to get together. The comment about sharing a lifestyle immediately made me a little concerned. I know from context of previous discussions that he's talking about kink interests, and as well as the fact that I really do not think of it is a lifestyle, I think it's comically overbroad to assume that just because two people have an interest in kink, that there'll be much interest in common either within or outside that realm. I didn't want to be too skeptical though. Maybe he was just reaching out to make friends in a way that only appears slightly clumsy to me because we have a terminology mismatch or something.
Anyway, he expressed an interest in photography and said he heard that I'm really good and maybe I could teach him. "What kind of photography?" I asked. Fetish.
I wrote a few paragraphs back.
Believe it or not, I'm not sure that I'm very interested in doing fetish photography. I wouldn't mind giving it a try some time. But I don't have any experience with studio shooting or lighting rigs for shooting people. I find that I don't have a lot of interest in taking photographs of people. I'm afraid I wouldn't have a whole lot of knowledge on the subject to teach.
Primarily, I'm interested in architecture. Mostly Beaux-arts, Art Deco, '60s Brutalist, that kind of stuff. Things that don't move and aren't really helped by the kind of lighting rigs that would be used for photographing people. Totally different paradigm.
I think it would be interesting to learn to do portraiture in general, and maybe fetish type photography. One of my partners has suggested that I might have interesting and different ways of seeing people and faces particularly than most people. But for the same reasons, I've never had a lot of interest in photographing people because they aren't that visually interesting to me.
Hair is probably an exception. I bet I could do fetish shots of long hair. *laughs*
He responded by saying he shot that picture at such and such place with this kid of light source and how lucky he was to get the picture. I was puzzled about what he was referring to, but after a bit I clicked on his timeline and found a picture of B posed and clothed suggestively.
I haven't communicated back to him yet. If I do, I'm going to explain that I feel a little bit uncomfortable with seeing that sort of image. I'm fairly sure that she doesn't object to him showing her picture to people given what I know about their relationship. But even though I've had one or two kink-related discussions with A (One of which, surprisingly enough, included my mother!), I feel personally uncomfortable with seeing pictures of A in that context. And beyond that, I feel a bit odd about B seemingly disregarding my comments on fetish and portrait photography in general. Though I mentioned board games too at one point, it seemed like B had a particular goal for the conversation. Either that, or he's one of those guys who has this feeling that you can bond with people by sharing titillating material?
I don't feel like he did anything wrong, and I think there are a lot of people who wouldn't react the way I did. But I am not them and something about the whole interaction left me mildly uncomfortable.
(Plus, the rest of his Facebook wall was all memes, including that dangerously misinformative one about calling 112 to get the highway patrol. It may be elitist, but that lowers my opinion of his interest as a conversational partner online too....)
