Sleep Thoughts
Dec. 6th, 2015 02:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogI've had more evenings lately where I don't want to lie down and sleep because that means I'll have to get up in the morning with one less day to get all the things done that need doing. So instead, I stay up far into the morning doing unproductive things because I'm too tired to concentrate, but I at least feel like I have control over my time. I don't want to climb up into my loft to go to sleep; it feels disconnecting. I'd rather lie down in my recliner and nap, which feels irrationally and categorically different. It may also be that that's where Danae and I spent a lot of time while she was visiting and it's comforting.
I've been napping during the day lately; I did that again today after grocery shopping and was awoken by my brand-new medication time alarm. When it goes off, I can't help but think of the woman who played Nurse Ratched in the production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that I was Chief Bromden in, years back, speaking over the on-stage PA. "Medication time. Medication time. All patients to the day room for medication." I still remember chunks of my monologues from that show. "Can you hear it Papa? The black machine. They got it going fourteen stories below the ground. They put people in one end, and out comes what they want." Though Bromden has a lot of lines in the play, most of them are delivered at night, to an empty room. In the day, with other people around, he's essentially catatonic; unwilling and uninterested in dealing with the world. Terrified when he's forced to. For that part of the role, I borrowed some of the feelings I used to have when I was in elementary school, junior high, and to some degree, high school.
Hopefully I'll get myself to try going to sleep pretty soon here, in one place or another.
I've been napping during the day lately; I did that again today after grocery shopping and was awoken by my brand-new medication time alarm. When it goes off, I can't help but think of the woman who played Nurse Ratched in the production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that I was Chief Bromden in, years back, speaking over the on-stage PA. "Medication time. Medication time. All patients to the day room for medication." I still remember chunks of my monologues from that show. "Can you hear it Papa? The black machine. They got it going fourteen stories below the ground. They put people in one end, and out comes what they want." Though Bromden has a lot of lines in the play, most of them are delivered at night, to an empty room. In the day, with other people around, he's essentially catatonic; unwilling and uninterested in dealing with the world. Terrified when he's forced to. For that part of the role, I borrowed some of the feelings I used to have when I was in elementary school, junior high, and to some degree, high school.
Hopefully I'll get myself to try going to sleep pretty soon here, in one place or another.
