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Mar. 11th, 2017 08:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
When I was biking to school every day, I got out and rode regardless of the weather. I took a perverse pleasure in days when the weather was negative double digits before windchill because it meant I could prove how hardcore I was about bike commuting.
Now, walking around the block with the dog while the temperature hovers around freezing is more than I really want to deal with. True, that's partly because I'm not really dressing appropriately. That's because getting the gear together is more than I want to deal with some mornings. I'm feeling a lot better lately, but I still have some distance to go.
I was feeling pretty emotionally unstable yesterday. I'd had trouble sleeping; I kept starting awake just before falling asleep, feeling panicky and breathing heavily. I slept on the couch with Piper to avoid keeping Danae awake. Most of that morning, I felt physical effects of anxiety and fear; it sat in my chest, squeezing. I don't know why. I was feeling better by the afternoon, but I still had exaggerated emotional reactions to things. Printed instructions from the vet on keeping Piper from licking her sutures made me think about so many dogs who are confused about their situation. Licking themselves because they don't understand, getting very sick, feeling miserable; I felt like crying a few times while thinking about it.
Piper and I did go to the vet yesterday to get her sutures looked at. She has a minor skin infection, and now has a course of antibiotics to kick it out. The stitches should come out in a week, and in the meantime we have an e-collar for her to keep her from licking. Nathan decided that she looks like a queen in her big blue fabric collar and that perhaps she's gained a rank. I smiled. Later, I tried not to think about the implication that her mother and/or father had died.
Now, walking around the block with the dog while the temperature hovers around freezing is more than I really want to deal with. True, that's partly because I'm not really dressing appropriately. That's because getting the gear together is more than I want to deal with some mornings. I'm feeling a lot better lately, but I still have some distance to go.
I was feeling pretty emotionally unstable yesterday. I'd had trouble sleeping; I kept starting awake just before falling asleep, feeling panicky and breathing heavily. I slept on the couch with Piper to avoid keeping Danae awake. Most of that morning, I felt physical effects of anxiety and fear; it sat in my chest, squeezing. I don't know why. I was feeling better by the afternoon, but I still had exaggerated emotional reactions to things. Printed instructions from the vet on keeping Piper from licking her sutures made me think about so many dogs who are confused about their situation. Licking themselves because they don't understand, getting very sick, feeling miserable; I felt like crying a few times while thinking about it.
Piper and I did go to the vet yesterday to get her sutures looked at. She has a minor skin infection, and now has a course of antibiotics to kick it out. The stitches should come out in a week, and in the meantime we have an e-collar for her to keep her from licking. Nathan decided that she looks like a queen in her big blue fabric collar and that perhaps she's gained a rank. I smiled. Later, I tried not to think about the implication that her mother and/or father had died.