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Oct. 26th, 2018 08:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogFrom, and largely referring to, Facebbook:
I haven't managed to have much social interaction recently. For quite some time, really. Facebook is my primary form of interaction with people other than my partner, and I don't seem to be very good at Facebooking. One form taken by the social anxiety I live with is a feeling that my interactions with other people are often unexpected and intrusive. I shouldn't respond to frivolous stuff because I don't feel like I know that person well enough for them to want me to participate in a form of communication whose significance is in the enjoyment of connection rather than the content of the messages. I shouldn't respond to serious stuff because, again, I don't feel like I know that person well enough for them to want my input on more serious things. So I just shouldn't talk to anyone I don't know well about anything. That means that I never get to know anybody well because I don't know them well enough.
My brain is broken.
I'm going to try to change the way I occupy this space. I just joined a number of groups (a few poly-related groups and one for demisexual folks) and have been actively engaging there. I'm trying to respond more to miscellaneous posts by FB friends and acquaintances too. Maybe that will even turn into more in-person interaction, in time. There are a number of people who I feel like have been on the periphery of my life for years, at a more or less constant distance from actual connection. And there must be many people in the Chicago area who I'd get along with really well, if I could only find them.
So I'm jumping into my latest round of attempting to put myself out there more. It's a really hard thing to do consistently with the varieties of mental illness I have; depression makes doing most anything social feel impossible. But maybe I can at least get into the habit of regular, pleasantly frivolous interactions with people online.
I haven't managed to have much social interaction recently. For quite some time, really. Facebook is my primary form of interaction with people other than my partner, and I don't seem to be very good at Facebooking. One form taken by the social anxiety I live with is a feeling that my interactions with other people are often unexpected and intrusive. I shouldn't respond to frivolous stuff because I don't feel like I know that person well enough for them to want me to participate in a form of communication whose significance is in the enjoyment of connection rather than the content of the messages. I shouldn't respond to serious stuff because, again, I don't feel like I know that person well enough for them to want my input on more serious things. So I just shouldn't talk to anyone I don't know well about anything. That means that I never get to know anybody well because I don't know them well enough.
My brain is broken.
I'm going to try to change the way I occupy this space. I just joined a number of groups (a few poly-related groups and one for demisexual folks) and have been actively engaging there. I'm trying to respond more to miscellaneous posts by FB friends and acquaintances too. Maybe that will even turn into more in-person interaction, in time. There are a number of people who I feel like have been on the periphery of my life for years, at a more or less constant distance from actual connection. And there must be many people in the Chicago area who I'd get along with really well, if I could only find them.
So I'm jumping into my latest round of attempting to put myself out there more. It's a really hard thing to do consistently with the varieties of mental illness I have; depression makes doing most anything social feel impossible. But maybe I can at least get into the habit of regular, pleasantly frivolous interactions with people online.
