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May. 17th, 2003 07:14 pmSo I obtained a cell phone today. For a long time I had no interest in the things, but recent circumstance has impressed upon me the desirability of being continuously available for contact, so I took the plunge and have become another small component of the digital miasma circulatiing through the ether. Figuring out what kind of phone and service plan to go with was somewhat problematic...
The websites I looked at were not very useful. I was originally going to go with the same company that my dear one uses on the assumption that rates within the same network would be lower, but upon doing a reverse lookup on her number and finding her provider, I discovered that it wouldn't save me much money after all. Cingular then, being the closest store and the one my parents use, became my wireless provider. I intended to go into the store and discuss service plans with someone, but as the time approached, I began to worry.
I worried that I didn't have all the information I would need to decide on a plan, or that I would experience a fit of my customary verbal ineptitude and end up with a plan I didn't really want... I guess it was just a resurgence of the fear I have of dealing with other people under that sort of condition. It was very frustrating for me. I've been trying lately to do much more of that kind of stuff myself, without relying on other people's help to get me through dealing with people, and I've been fairly successful. But this instance, for whatever reason, was really weighing on me. Finally, I ended up going out to the place with my dad along. He had thought it might be necessary for him to come along anyway, since I wasn't sure whether I had any kind of a credit record. I talked to him in the car about my frustration with the situation and my wish to be able to stand on my own more often than I do, and he told me that he's noticed I have been a lot better lately. I'm dealing with a lot of situations with ease that he would have found amazing a year ago, he told me, and he's willing to help me out here and there at times when it becomes apparent that this process of growth hasn't progressed quite as far as I would like.
And when we got there, I ended up dealing with the entire transaction anyway. I had sufficient record of good credit from my student loans to take care of the business side of things, and I managed to have the service plans explained to my satisfaction and walk out with basically what I wanted, without finding help from my dad necessary. This made me pretty happy. I guess I just need a little hand-holding here and there. But I continue to grow. Eventually, perhaps, I won't need that anymore either. Life is new experience, and experience is growth, and growth is, most of the time, a good thing...
As I dropped in at my dad's friend Bob's house, the two of them were watching an episode of Babylon 5 that was strangely apropos to the subject of growth. It was the episode I qouted a ways back in this journal. Delenn was speaking lines to the effect of (and I'm paraphrasing as I don't have a transcript) 'Wherever we are is the right place. The universe puts us in places where we can learn. These places aren't always easy, and they are sometimes painful, but they are right.' When, at the end of that, she went into her monologue about star-stuff, which I almost can reproduce from memory, I found that I actually had tears in my eyes. Such beautiful words, and so amazingly fitting for the way I think about the universe...
In the last scene of the episode, Sheridan and Ivanova are talking on the bridge;
S: "Have you ever had a long talk with ambassador Delenn?"
I: "From time to time."
S: "She and the universe seem to have a... special relationship."
Ivanova gave that some thought and responded: "Don't we all?"
Yes, I'm a Babylon 5 fanatic. But it was just that good! I honestly think it's the best thing that's been on television in as long as I can remember.
Well, I'm off to Bob's again to go have dinner. I was going to do some cleaning while I was here, but I ended up writing this instead. Typical. 'Till next, my friends and neighbors in cyberspace...
The websites I looked at were not very useful. I was originally going to go with the same company that my dear one uses on the assumption that rates within the same network would be lower, but upon doing a reverse lookup on her number and finding her provider, I discovered that it wouldn't save me much money after all. Cingular then, being the closest store and the one my parents use, became my wireless provider. I intended to go into the store and discuss service plans with someone, but as the time approached, I began to worry.
I worried that I didn't have all the information I would need to decide on a plan, or that I would experience a fit of my customary verbal ineptitude and end up with a plan I didn't really want... I guess it was just a resurgence of the fear I have of dealing with other people under that sort of condition. It was very frustrating for me. I've been trying lately to do much more of that kind of stuff myself, without relying on other people's help to get me through dealing with people, and I've been fairly successful. But this instance, for whatever reason, was really weighing on me. Finally, I ended up going out to the place with my dad along. He had thought it might be necessary for him to come along anyway, since I wasn't sure whether I had any kind of a credit record. I talked to him in the car about my frustration with the situation and my wish to be able to stand on my own more often than I do, and he told me that he's noticed I have been a lot better lately. I'm dealing with a lot of situations with ease that he would have found amazing a year ago, he told me, and he's willing to help me out here and there at times when it becomes apparent that this process of growth hasn't progressed quite as far as I would like.
And when we got there, I ended up dealing with the entire transaction anyway. I had sufficient record of good credit from my student loans to take care of the business side of things, and I managed to have the service plans explained to my satisfaction and walk out with basically what I wanted, without finding help from my dad necessary. This made me pretty happy. I guess I just need a little hand-holding here and there. But I continue to grow. Eventually, perhaps, I won't need that anymore either. Life is new experience, and experience is growth, and growth is, most of the time, a good thing...
As I dropped in at my dad's friend Bob's house, the two of them were watching an episode of Babylon 5 that was strangely apropos to the subject of growth. It was the episode I qouted a ways back in this journal. Delenn was speaking lines to the effect of (and I'm paraphrasing as I don't have a transcript) 'Wherever we are is the right place. The universe puts us in places where we can learn. These places aren't always easy, and they are sometimes painful, but they are right.' When, at the end of that, she went into her monologue about star-stuff, which I almost can reproduce from memory, I found that I actually had tears in my eyes. Such beautiful words, and so amazingly fitting for the way I think about the universe...
In the last scene of the episode, Sheridan and Ivanova are talking on the bridge;
S: "Have you ever had a long talk with ambassador Delenn?"
I: "From time to time."
S: "She and the universe seem to have a... special relationship."
Ivanova gave that some thought and responded: "Don't we all?"
Yes, I'm a Babylon 5 fanatic. But it was just that good! I honestly think it's the best thing that's been on television in as long as I can remember.
Well, I'm off to Bob's again to go have dinner. I was going to do some cleaning while I was here, but I ended up writing this instead. Typical. 'Till next, my friends and neighbors in cyberspace...
