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10:58amMe
I'm on my rebuilt laptop and haven't installed Pidgin yet so I can get on IM.
I'll have to look at my other machine and get my login info anyway.
I'd love to watch Donnie Darko with you; that would be fun. Thanks.
11:03amMark
hihi!
Just install Trillian for Android
I haven't tried it yet, but Trillian rocks
11:04amMe
Oh, neat. I didn't realize there was a Trillian app. I had a different one a while ago, but it didn't seem to work very well.
I'll try Trillian.
I thought I'd send you a note on Facebook chat 'cause it's what I have and I'm having a kind of weird-in-the-head day and thought it would be nice to talk to you.
11:05amMark
E-something works well as well, but I don't remember the name
11:07amMark
http://www.appbrain.com/user/posicat/apps-on-the-phone
play with Appbrain, it rocks
11:08amMe
Ok; I'll look at that too.
11:09amMark
it's nice, you can select apps online, share what you have installed and see what others have installed.
11:12amMe
Be right back; got to work with the CEO again.
11:13amMark
ok
11:18amMe
Erf. I had a new signature block that I was suppoed to copy and paste in to his mail to fix a problem he's having, but of course it didn't work. I get so nervous talking to the execs here.
11:22amMark
meh, they're just people, even if they don't realize it
11:23amMe
It's true. But I'm just not a fit for the culture here. It was a little easier in the Libertyville office; things were more casual. The people who work here are 'real grownups'. And I'm not.
11:24amMark
Real grownups are just people afraid of being human.
Don't pay them any mind, show them an good example of how a nice person behaves.
Again ... what's the worst
There's a lot of freedom in knowing something is coming to an end, it puts a cost on things that otherwise might not have a fixed cost
11:26amMe
I suppose so. I know that I just need to get through this for a finite amount more time to get my severance. I know what the cost is, and what the rewards are.
11:26amMark
exactly, rarely in life are things going to be so clear
11:27amMe
I have to say, sometimes I feel bad about not being a grown up. Sometimes I feel like not looking for a job and living with my parents and trying to go to school instead is childish. Like I'm running away from responsibilites.
But I don't think I have any responsibilities to run away from. And I guess that makes me sad too, though for different reasons.
11:27amMark
Cuss out the Exec, loose X, worry about the Exec, get X ... Don't worry too much about the Exec ... probably still get X unless you drift towards cussing out
11:28amMark
your parents are good people, a good example to look at and know if you're doing well. They seem happy enough with your choices, that speaks volumes. Relax, you're doing good.
Yours and Tybis's folks are my life-litmus tests
11:31amMe
That actually makes me feel halfway better. Thank you. It makes a lot of sense. I guess they would tell me if they thought I was doing the wrong thing. My mother would discuss it endlessly and I'd enjoy it, and would probably even change my mind.
11:32amMark
Exactly
11:33amMe
I can't help but feel like I'm 'supposed' to be working a good job, living on my own, looking for another romantic partner. The things that generally define being a grown up in our society. But I think my own societal expectations are the only things telling me I should do that.
11:36amMark
We're supposed to be climbing trees, eating fruit, and hanging out with the other folks climbing trees. Evolution had a different idea Rules are for folks who don't like living dynamic lives
Find your path, even if it involves walking off of the ones that most people travel ... maybe others will follow
11:37amMe
That sounds like a pretty good deal right now. Climbing trees and the like. grins
I see so much appeal in doing something like that guy I wrote about did. Working seasonally, and just travelling and taking pictures. I worry that that's kind of running away from things though.
But again, I guess I don't really have anything to run away from either, except myself.
11:41amMe
When I was little, one of the few things that I knew about what I wanted to do when I grew up that didn't change was that I didn't want to have a 'normal' job. I didn't want to go in to an office five days a week and sit indoors. But I ended up doing it anyway, because it was something I felt like I needed to do to be responsible. And I didn't know what else to do.
11:41amMark
Look at life, decide where you want to be in 5, 10, 20, 50 years, and do what you need to to get there. It's ok to change your mind
11:42amMe
And I guess I'm still not quite sure what else to do. I'm not quite sure where I want to be in 5 or 10 years. But I don't want to be in an office.
I just have to convince myself that not looking for another IT job is not equivalent to surrendering to my fear about dealing with people. That's it's a choice 'for' something and not against it.
I'm not sure if I quite believe that yet.
11:42amMark
An office job with the right people isn't bad, with the wrong people it's awful. And you always have to have time to follow your own dreams. You just have to make sure to visit often
11:44amMe
I don't know. It could be a lot better with different people, I'm sure, but even when I was working with Serin and [coworker] all the time, it wasn't better than decent. And [other coworker] is here too who I really like and that helps, but the whole environment of the corporate world and all the expectations therein doesn't fit me very well.
And if I do end up on the road a lot, somehow, I'll definitely come back and visit!
11:45amMark
your corporate world is borked, it's the whole structure, it's like hiding with your friends in a rotting tree that might be on fire ... find a good tree
brb lunch
11:46amMe
Ok. I should get some food too.
A better company? Eh, maybe that would help. Maybe I'm running away prematurely and I should give another IT gig a try. Maybe I just want to get out of it because I'm scared, not because I'm choosing to do something better. And that's what I'm scared of.
12:20pmMark
lol
There's not one set thing you should do with your life ... this is a choose your own adventure book
12:21pmMark
Although ... god I hope it's not like that Mechanon book ... adult (not porn) choose your own adventure with hitpoints and dice .... those are two genre's that never need mix.
They even had traps in there for people who cheated to stay alive and just chose the "not dead yet" option.
12:23pmMe
Heh; I don't think I've heard of that. Interesting; I'd like to see it.
12:24pmMe
And thanks. I appreciate the encouragement. I think that leaving the corporate world, at least for a while, is the right thing to do. I'm just worried that I'm wrong and not thinking it through completely. But I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm sure I'll keep giving it thought. And so far, I think it'll be ok.
12:28pmMark
I love working where I am, the customers can be frustrating,m but not all that often. I like the new position even more, it's actually fun to come to work.
So, it's possible to get a good job, I've temped in some awesome places over the years too. And some ass places as well.
12:46pmMe
It's so cool when you have a job that you really like. I don't think I've ever had that experience yet. There were some that were pretty decent, but none that I really honestly enjoyed.
12:56pmMark
They're out there, just start somewhere nice and work your way up to fun
12:57pmMe
So do you think living with my parents and going to school and maybe travelling and photographing is a bad idea?
12:58pmMark
doesn't sound like it :0
er
12:59pmMark
Might not necessarily be a good choice for an "easy' later life, but there are people who pull it off. You can always do it for a few years, look at where you'll be in the future and make sure you're comfortable with your path.
1:00pmMe
Thanks for saying so. I think it's a good chance to go back to school at a point when I don't have other responsibilities. I worry that my friends will think I'm failed somehow if I do that. And I worry about that more than I probably should.
I think the people who matter really won't care.
1:02pmMark
failed? Hell i'd be jealous
If you do travel ... can I take a week off an join you from time to time?
1:09pmMe
I'd love that!
Thanks. hugs
I'm on my rebuilt laptop and haven't installed Pidgin yet so I can get on IM.
I'll have to look at my other machine and get my login info anyway.
I'd love to watch Donnie Darko with you; that would be fun. Thanks.
11:03amMark
hihi!
Just install Trillian for Android
I haven't tried it yet, but Trillian rocks
11:04amMe
Oh, neat. I didn't realize there was a Trillian app. I had a different one a while ago, but it didn't seem to work very well.
I'll try Trillian.
I thought I'd send you a note on Facebook chat 'cause it's what I have and I'm having a kind of weird-in-the-head day and thought it would be nice to talk to you.
11:05amMark
E-something works well as well, but I don't remember the name
11:07amMark
http://www.appbrain.com/user/posicat/apps-on-the-phone
play with Appbrain, it rocks
11:08amMe
Ok; I'll look at that too.
11:09amMark
it's nice, you can select apps online, share what you have installed and see what others have installed.
11:12amMe
Be right back; got to work with the CEO again.
11:13amMark
ok
11:18amMe
Erf. I had a new signature block that I was suppoed to copy and paste in to his mail to fix a problem he's having, but of course it didn't work. I get so nervous talking to the execs here.
11:22amMark
meh, they're just people, even if they don't realize it
11:23amMe
It's true. But I'm just not a fit for the culture here. It was a little easier in the Libertyville office; things were more casual. The people who work here are 'real grownups'. And I'm not.
11:24amMark
Real grownups are just people afraid of being human.
Don't pay them any mind, show them an good example of how a nice person behaves.
Again ... what's the worst
There's a lot of freedom in knowing something is coming to an end, it puts a cost on things that otherwise might not have a fixed cost
11:26amMe
I suppose so. I know that I just need to get through this for a finite amount more time to get my severance. I know what the cost is, and what the rewards are.
11:26amMark
exactly, rarely in life are things going to be so clear
11:27amMe
I have to say, sometimes I feel bad about not being a grown up. Sometimes I feel like not looking for a job and living with my parents and trying to go to school instead is childish. Like I'm running away from responsibilites.
But I don't think I have any responsibilities to run away from. And I guess that makes me sad too, though for different reasons.
11:27amMark
Cuss out the Exec, loose X, worry about the Exec, get X ... Don't worry too much about the Exec ... probably still get X unless you drift towards cussing out
11:28amMark
your parents are good people, a good example to look at and know if you're doing well. They seem happy enough with your choices, that speaks volumes. Relax, you're doing good.
Yours and Tybis's folks are my life-litmus tests
11:31amMe
That actually makes me feel halfway better. Thank you. It makes a lot of sense. I guess they would tell me if they thought I was doing the wrong thing. My mother would discuss it endlessly and I'd enjoy it, and would probably even change my mind.
11:32amMark
Exactly
11:33amMe
I can't help but feel like I'm 'supposed' to be working a good job, living on my own, looking for another romantic partner. The things that generally define being a grown up in our society. But I think my own societal expectations are the only things telling me I should do that.
11:36amMark
We're supposed to be climbing trees, eating fruit, and hanging out with the other folks climbing trees. Evolution had a different idea Rules are for folks who don't like living dynamic lives
Find your path, even if it involves walking off of the ones that most people travel ... maybe others will follow
11:37amMe
That sounds like a pretty good deal right now. Climbing trees and the like. grins
I see so much appeal in doing something like that guy I wrote about did. Working seasonally, and just travelling and taking pictures. I worry that that's kind of running away from things though.
But again, I guess I don't really have anything to run away from either, except myself.
11:41amMe
When I was little, one of the few things that I knew about what I wanted to do when I grew up that didn't change was that I didn't want to have a 'normal' job. I didn't want to go in to an office five days a week and sit indoors. But I ended up doing it anyway, because it was something I felt like I needed to do to be responsible. And I didn't know what else to do.
11:41amMark
Look at life, decide where you want to be in 5, 10, 20, 50 years, and do what you need to to get there. It's ok to change your mind
11:42amMe
And I guess I'm still not quite sure what else to do. I'm not quite sure where I want to be in 5 or 10 years. But I don't want to be in an office.
I just have to convince myself that not looking for another IT job is not equivalent to surrendering to my fear about dealing with people. That's it's a choice 'for' something and not against it.
I'm not sure if I quite believe that yet.
11:42amMark
An office job with the right people isn't bad, with the wrong people it's awful. And you always have to have time to follow your own dreams. You just have to make sure to visit often
11:44amMe
I don't know. It could be a lot better with different people, I'm sure, but even when I was working with Serin and [coworker] all the time, it wasn't better than decent. And [other coworker] is here too who I really like and that helps, but the whole environment of the corporate world and all the expectations therein doesn't fit me very well.
And if I do end up on the road a lot, somehow, I'll definitely come back and visit!
11:45amMark
your corporate world is borked, it's the whole structure, it's like hiding with your friends in a rotting tree that might be on fire ... find a good tree
brb lunch
11:46amMe
Ok. I should get some food too.
A better company? Eh, maybe that would help. Maybe I'm running away prematurely and I should give another IT gig a try. Maybe I just want to get out of it because I'm scared, not because I'm choosing to do something better. And that's what I'm scared of.
12:20pmMark
lol
There's not one set thing you should do with your life ... this is a choose your own adventure book
12:21pmMark
Although ... god I hope it's not like that Mechanon book ... adult (not porn) choose your own adventure with hitpoints and dice .... those are two genre's that never need mix.
They even had traps in there for people who cheated to stay alive and just chose the "not dead yet" option.
12:23pmMe
Heh; I don't think I've heard of that. Interesting; I'd like to see it.
12:24pmMe
And thanks. I appreciate the encouragement. I think that leaving the corporate world, at least for a while, is the right thing to do. I'm just worried that I'm wrong and not thinking it through completely. But I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm sure I'll keep giving it thought. And so far, I think it'll be ok.
12:28pmMark
I love working where I am, the customers can be frustrating,m but not all that often. I like the new position even more, it's actually fun to come to work.
So, it's possible to get a good job, I've temped in some awesome places over the years too. And some ass places as well.
12:46pmMe
It's so cool when you have a job that you really like. I don't think I've ever had that experience yet. There were some that were pretty decent, but none that I really honestly enjoyed.
12:56pmMark
They're out there, just start somewhere nice and work your way up to fun
12:57pmMe
So do you think living with my parents and going to school and maybe travelling and photographing is a bad idea?
12:58pmMark
doesn't sound like it :0
er
12:59pmMark
Might not necessarily be a good choice for an "easy' later life, but there are people who pull it off. You can always do it for a few years, look at where you'll be in the future and make sure you're comfortable with your path.
1:00pmMe
Thanks for saying so. I think it's a good chance to go back to school at a point when I don't have other responsibilities. I worry that my friends will think I'm failed somehow if I do that. And I worry about that more than I probably should.
I think the people who matter really won't care.
1:02pmMark
failed? Hell i'd be jealous
If you do travel ... can I take a week off an join you from time to time?
1:09pmMe
I'd love that!
Thanks. hugs
