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Apr. 10th, 2014 10:50 amThinking about faceblindness this morning, I realized I haven't looked around to see what the state of related online resources is like in a long time. (That probably indicates that it hasn't felt consciously restrictive enough to come to mind much, which is good!) I just found a journal article, "Psychosocial Consequences of Developmental Prosopagnosia: A Problem of Recognition," that did some qualitative research on/with faceblind people.
The comparisons to Social Anxiety Disorder are kind of interesting, as is the researchers' conclusion that developmental prosopagnosia has potential for psychosocial disability that' equal to conditions like stuttering or dyslexia. From the article:
"The inability to offer a socially acceptable explanation for recognition failure led to anxiety that others would perceive them as disrespectful or uncaring, often resulting in some degree of fear and avoidance of situations involving meeting people. Long-term consequences could include loss of self-confidence, dependence on others, a restricted social circle, and more limited employment opportunities."
I guess my time at Jol Ja, and my thoughts about whether I could reasonably conduct ethnographic fieldwork has had faceblindness on my mind in general. I thought about it more in light of the great nervousness I feel at doing something like going in to my campus' LGBTQ center to introduce myself and meet people socially. I'm so much better than I used to be, but it's still really hard sometimes for me to want to meet people, especially a group all at once.
I actually really love talking to people and getting to know them. I'm fascinated by people's everyday lives and stories. At the same time, it's really scary for me to meet a new person who I know that I will see on a regular basis, because I'm going to fail to recognize them, and I will forget things about them or get them mixed up with other people. It's just the way it is, for all the coping methods I've managed to come up with.
I get a bit scared when I start feeling introverted and unsocial. I used to be that way all the time, before I came into my own three or four years ago. When I start feeling that way in the present, it reminds me of when I was deeply dependent on my ex or my family for socialization. I avoided a lot of social contact. When I went to a party with my ex, I would (and I'm not exaggerating) often sit in a corner or in another room with an animal to pay attention to if the hosts had one, or a book to read. It would take half an hour to an hour for me to start feeling comfortable and able to talk to people.
This seems to really surprise people who've only known me more recently. Though Lisa has seen that side of me, I know Danae has a hard time picturing me that way. And I'm glad of that, because I don't want to be that way. I'm so much happier now, I think. So when external stress, like having a bunch of upcoming paper due dates, exacerbates the underlying stress that I have about social situations (which I think is always there, even if I manage to forget sometimes), I get a lot more socially avoidant than I'd really like to be. And that makes me stressy! *laughs*
And I think that's kind of where I am at the moment. I think that's part of why I stayed home from the conference this weekend too. I don't feel up to trying to meet a lot of new professional people in a social context.
But this weekend, I get to hole up in my own space with my partner Danae and get some work done on these papers. That will be good.
The comparisons to Social Anxiety Disorder are kind of interesting, as is the researchers' conclusion that developmental prosopagnosia has potential for psychosocial disability that' equal to conditions like stuttering or dyslexia. From the article:
"The inability to offer a socially acceptable explanation for recognition failure led to anxiety that others would perceive them as disrespectful or uncaring, often resulting in some degree of fear and avoidance of situations involving meeting people. Long-term consequences could include loss of self-confidence, dependence on others, a restricted social circle, and more limited employment opportunities."
I guess my time at Jol Ja, and my thoughts about whether I could reasonably conduct ethnographic fieldwork has had faceblindness on my mind in general. I thought about it more in light of the great nervousness I feel at doing something like going in to my campus' LGBTQ center to introduce myself and meet people socially. I'm so much better than I used to be, but it's still really hard sometimes for me to want to meet people, especially a group all at once.
I actually really love talking to people and getting to know them. I'm fascinated by people's everyday lives and stories. At the same time, it's really scary for me to meet a new person who I know that I will see on a regular basis, because I'm going to fail to recognize them, and I will forget things about them or get them mixed up with other people. It's just the way it is, for all the coping methods I've managed to come up with.
I get a bit scared when I start feeling introverted and unsocial. I used to be that way all the time, before I came into my own three or four years ago. When I start feeling that way in the present, it reminds me of when I was deeply dependent on my ex or my family for socialization. I avoided a lot of social contact. When I went to a party with my ex, I would (and I'm not exaggerating) often sit in a corner or in another room with an animal to pay attention to if the hosts had one, or a book to read. It would take half an hour to an hour for me to start feeling comfortable and able to talk to people.
This seems to really surprise people who've only known me more recently. Though Lisa has seen that side of me, I know Danae has a hard time picturing me that way. And I'm glad of that, because I don't want to be that way. I'm so much happier now, I think. So when external stress, like having a bunch of upcoming paper due dates, exacerbates the underlying stress that I have about social situations (which I think is always there, even if I manage to forget sometimes), I get a lot more socially avoidant than I'd really like to be. And that makes me stressy! *laughs*
And I think that's kind of where I am at the moment. I think that's part of why I stayed home from the conference this weekend too. I don't feel up to trying to meet a lot of new professional people in a social context.
But this weekend, I get to hole up in my own space with my partner Danae and get some work done on these papers. That will be good.
