(no subject)

It's rare that I have a dream that seems so closely and directly tied to past experience and current thoughts. I was back together with my ex for some reason, and we moved into this interesting apartment building that was all loft conversions. It turned out that it was something like a swinger's complex. She had existing relationships with a number of people there, and several were interested in sex with me, but were also put off by my reluctance. I was upset with my ex, and asked her why we would move here without her telling me what the situation there was. She said that she'd thought it would be fun for me. Instead, I just felt unprepared and unable to manage the unexpected situation, even though it actually was what a part of me wanted. I woke up feeling strange and uncomfortable. I wanted physical contact with someone I trust and love, and I asked Danae for some snuggles and affection.

I've been a little sad since yesterday evening when, on the ride home with Posi and Nathan and Erik, I learned from Facebook that a dog at the shelter, Emmy, was adopted. I'm also really happy for her of course! But without King the cat here, Danae and I had been talking about fostering a dog, and on Friday we visited the shelter to talk about it. They were going to put Emmy in our condo on Monday; she's an adorable Lhasa Apso (we are limited to 20 pounds by the condo board) who is loving, friendly, and very overweight. I was going to do some obedience training and exercise with her until she found her forever home. I was so very excited about having a dog around the house again; I smiled and bounced whenever I talked about it. Finding out that an adopter took her home on Saturday was a bit like losing a pet, and I hadn't even had her yet. I am truly happy that she has a person who's really her own now. But it's weird to have been already planning all these activities with Emmy in my head and now to not get to do them.

I was going to be in Kenosha today with my parents, but my dad is sick so we're moving that to next week. Today will be grocery shopping, kitchen cleaning, and playing Factorio with Posi I think.

Posi and Nathan and Erik and I all had a fun time on our mini road-trip yesterday. In the morning, I took my bike to Round Lake Beach to meet up with Posi. The ride took just a little over three hours, and I was pretty tired. We left to meet Nathan and Erik in Carpetnersville, stopping on the way for giant BLT burritos (mine without the T) from a Mexican place we passed. It was odd, but really good, eating a burrito with bacon, beans, and mayo all together.

When the four of us were together, we moved my bike from Posi's car to Nathan's to prepare for the trip home, then drove to the American Science and Surplus tent sale. We spent an hour or so there, and then headed to our last destination, the railroad pavillion in Rochelle. Se stayed there through dusk and into the night, chatting and photographing trains. I've been looking forward to being there with a few friends for a long time, and it was a great experience even though we didn't make a fire. (Another group was already using the firepit, and we hadn't brought any wood anyway 'cause it was getting late.)

Finally we had dinner at Erik's (he had stew in a crockpot) and I got kisses from his dog, Fluffly, before Nathan drove me back to Evanston. I was exhausted, and mostly napped in his car, though we also had some good conversation; I so appreciate him driving!