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Aug. 1st, 2019 12:43 pmThe last few days' activities have been marvelous, and relatively inexpensive. That's good because I'm feeling a little anxious about money. We've had only my income since early this year. That's enough to get by on, but I just paid property tax, which is not quite a month's worth of pay and it feels like a lot. And her health insurance through NW is ending very soon so I'm going have to deal with the bureaucracy and increased expense of putting her on my insurance.
I seem to be stuck on the monitor power board. I wish I had someone who knows what they're doing to walk me through things. I keep looking at things like Heathkit function generators online, thinking about how accessible and fun it would be to troubleshoot one and get it up to snuff, but I shouldn't be buying things at the moment.
I'm thinking about library school in some shape or form, but I don't feel like I can commit to that right now both because of money, and because Danae (and thus myself) will likely be moving somewhere, sometime. She's job-searching hard, and we don't know where or when we'll end up. The latest potentials are Penn State in Pennsylvania and a university in Toronto, Canada.
Honestly, I'd love to get out of the US right now. It feels like I'm living through a slow-motion governmental collapse. But my dad won't be able to visit me there easily because of complicated document issues, so that would be sad.
I've also realized I just don't know what I want to do, career-wise. What gets me excited? What am I passionate about? I don't know. I've been dealing with some anhedonia due to depression, so it's hard to be excited about much of anything. One of the things that I got most whole-heartedly excited about in the last year or so was reverse-engineering and fixing my VTVM. There isn't really a career to be made out of repairing half-century old equipment. I kind of still want to be an archivist. I loved helping people find things. But I just don't know. I've even talked to Danae about being a homemaker. If we had a child, and she was making enough money, I could do all the household stuff, take care of the kid during the day and while she's at conferences...that feels like it could be pretty fulfilling too. I'm just uncertain and confused about all of it.
I seem to be stuck on the monitor power board. I wish I had someone who knows what they're doing to walk me through things. I keep looking at things like Heathkit function generators online, thinking about how accessible and fun it would be to troubleshoot one and get it up to snuff, but I shouldn't be buying things at the moment.
I'm thinking about library school in some shape or form, but I don't feel like I can commit to that right now both because of money, and because Danae (and thus myself) will likely be moving somewhere, sometime. She's job-searching hard, and we don't know where or when we'll end up. The latest potentials are Penn State in Pennsylvania and a university in Toronto, Canada.
Honestly, I'd love to get out of the US right now. It feels like I'm living through a slow-motion governmental collapse. But my dad won't be able to visit me there easily because of complicated document issues, so that would be sad.
I've also realized I just don't know what I want to do, career-wise. What gets me excited? What am I passionate about? I don't know. I've been dealing with some anhedonia due to depression, so it's hard to be excited about much of anything. One of the things that I got most whole-heartedly excited about in the last year or so was reverse-engineering and fixing my VTVM. There isn't really a career to be made out of repairing half-century old equipment. I kind of still want to be an archivist. I loved helping people find things. But I just don't know. I've even talked to Danae about being a homemaker. If we had a child, and she was making enough money, I could do all the household stuff, take care of the kid during the day and while she's at conferences...that feels like it could be pretty fulfilling too. I'm just uncertain and confused about all of it.
