This is Fine

I am honestly at a point where, if I wanted to tell someone about all the major issues and stressors I am trying to manage in my life, I wouldn't know where to start. Like, my home country is crazy and likely to have violent unrest soon. My parents live in one of the Covid hotspots of the world. I haven't gone anywhere but the grocery store for months because the Netherlands can't get their act together about Covid either. The building we're living in is falling apart (more on that later, but yes, it is actually having some major structural issues.). Our bed has *already* fallen apart so we're sleeping on mattresses on the living room floor.

I guess not being able to concentrate isn't that surprising? I emailed the professor whose class I missed half of due to daylight savings to apologize for not giving my best to school right now and briefly talked about some of the stuff I'm dealing with. It feels highly inappropriate to do that, like I'm asking for special favors or something. If you know how I think about that kind of thing, you'll know how bad it must be for me to consider doing that. It isn't her problem to manage me; it's my problem to manage myself.

I'm also trying to justify myself to myself. I'm trying to remind myself that the world is more or less on fire right now and that it's ok if I'm not doing the best work I could do for school. Not being able to concentrate means I'm doing some things at the last minute and that means they're not as good as they could be.