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Jun. 24th, 2021 03:59 pmThere's a meme about how no cis person ever daydreams about being another gender. A lot of non-cis folks I know feel happy and affirmed by this meme. I do not, for a couple reasons.
First is, I think, a sort of impostor syndrome reaction. Maybe I'm different. Maybe this doesn't apply to me despite any evidence to the contrary. That reaction is irrational.
Second, I disagree with the basic expression being stated. I know people, including some people I am or have been very close to, who are quite confident in their cisgender nature who have daydreamed about being another gender. Maybe we need to figure out what is meant by daydreaming in this context?
On a broader topic, my partner Miriam feels invalidated by things that suggest her own gender identity is invalid. This includes expressions that gender doesn't exist, or that it doesn't matter, or that impose external restrictions on what does or does not determine someone's gender. This meme falls into that category by making a universal statement about who can and cannot be cisgender. I'm struck by seeing this failure occur in two kinds of memes that both seem intended to affirm people in gender minority groups. There are memes that say gender is arbitrary and non-existent, and memes like this one that draw a solid, exclusive box around cisgenderness. Both of those things aim to affirm people in gender minorities, but in fact they both invalidate various gender identities, including minority identities.
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My immediate response to many statements, and *every* universal statement, is critical analysis.
I don't engage in critical analysis because it's a fun hobby or something. I do it because the way I live my life is based on an understanding of the world around me. I don't incorporate things into my viewpoint until they've passed a certain level of critical analysis.
It's also important to me that things that are hurtful to other people are not unchallenged. Universal statements about people very often fit into that category. I have a lot of personal experience in being an edge case that seemingly simple laws or statements do not cover. I don't want other people to experience that and to feel like they are not seen. In that sense, posts like my last one about the gender meme feel important to me in that they help people who feel excluded by that meme feel seen and understood, and not othered or disenfranchised.
I don't really know how to react to these things any differently than I do.
First is, I think, a sort of impostor syndrome reaction. Maybe I'm different. Maybe this doesn't apply to me despite any evidence to the contrary. That reaction is irrational.
Second, I disagree with the basic expression being stated. I know people, including some people I am or have been very close to, who are quite confident in their cisgender nature who have daydreamed about being another gender. Maybe we need to figure out what is meant by daydreaming in this context?
On a broader topic, my partner Miriam feels invalidated by things that suggest her own gender identity is invalid. This includes expressions that gender doesn't exist, or that it doesn't matter, or that impose external restrictions on what does or does not determine someone's gender. This meme falls into that category by making a universal statement about who can and cannot be cisgender. I'm struck by seeing this failure occur in two kinds of memes that both seem intended to affirm people in gender minority groups. There are memes that say gender is arbitrary and non-existent, and memes like this one that draw a solid, exclusive box around cisgenderness. Both of those things aim to affirm people in gender minorities, but in fact they both invalidate various gender identities, including minority identities.
-------
My immediate response to many statements, and *every* universal statement, is critical analysis.
I don't engage in critical analysis because it's a fun hobby or something. I do it because the way I live my life is based on an understanding of the world around me. I don't incorporate things into my viewpoint until they've passed a certain level of critical analysis.
It's also important to me that things that are hurtful to other people are not unchallenged. Universal statements about people very often fit into that category. I have a lot of personal experience in being an edge case that seemingly simple laws or statements do not cover. I don't want other people to experience that and to feel like they are not seen. In that sense, posts like my last one about the gender meme feel important to me in that they help people who feel excluded by that meme feel seen and understood, and not othered or disenfranchised.
I don't really know how to react to these things any differently than I do.
