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May. 5th, 2003 09:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogI'm trying to figure out how to address my weekend here. So much to say, so many thoughts...
I had a very relaxing, though excited, drive out to Michigan. I found the hotel, walked inside, and knew that I was home. During the course of the weekend, I had such an amazing feeling of peace and belonging. I consider myself very lucky to belong to a culture (or maybe I should say anti-culture?) that attracts so many wonderful people. As I've said before, it seems that a great many things have been happening for me just as I was ready for them to. While I might wish my life had progressed to a point where I could enjoy meeting new people rather than running away and hiding in a stairwell or something, I am very happy that I finally am at that point. Everything in it's time... There was a button that I should have bought that epitomized fen culture for me. "In normal society, I'm short, fat, and weird. In fandom, I'm compact, cuddly, and interesting." That really does say it all.
I could talk about what we did at the con. I met a couple of Andrea's friends. We went to several nearby thrift stores. I met an old friend of my dad's, Rich Tucholka of Tri-Tac Games. But I guess we really could have done anything at the con and it wouldn't have made much difference. Except, that is, for the most important thing we did that weekend. Andrea and I spend hours talking. Just talking, looking into each other's eyes, laughing, crying,... I have feelings for her that, not only do I not have names for, I didn't even know they existed.
Of course there are complications with our relationship. Life always has complications. I'm not used to having things that I feel I can't explain, but text is not the medium for this and I would prefer to have Andrea with me in order to explain, so for the moment... I guess I'll have to be vague. Sorry. Depending on who you are, I might explain in person (with her permission). Or I might not. But I do appreciate my friends, all of you, for being willing to listen when I do have something I need to talk about. Jim, Benjie, Lander, Dave, everyone... thanks for being there.
Perhaps this journal has seemed self-indulgent of late. My brother claims that all LiveJournals are self indulgent and that he thusly isn't interested in reading them. But maybe that's the point. One of the most important rules of wrting is that one should know one's audience and keep them in mind. In this case, I suppose my audience is me. That's been the case since this was just a little bit of rambling on my webpage, and while I appreciate all those who think I'm interesting enough to keep reading these words, in the end this was meant to be for me. And since Andrea is a large part of my life, she will continue to be a large part of this journal. In other words, if you're getting bored hearing about the most special person in my life, then I'm sorry, but I'm not. *grin*
And now, if I can, I should get to bed so I can get up for work tomorrow. I'm probably going to start working 'till 6 instead of 5 so I can get nearer to 40 hours a week in. And if I take short lunches, I'll even be able to leave early Fridays so that I don't go into overtime. 'Till next!
*hugs*
I had a very relaxing, though excited, drive out to Michigan. I found the hotel, walked inside, and knew that I was home. During the course of the weekend, I had such an amazing feeling of peace and belonging. I consider myself very lucky to belong to a culture (or maybe I should say anti-culture?) that attracts so many wonderful people. As I've said before, it seems that a great many things have been happening for me just as I was ready for them to. While I might wish my life had progressed to a point where I could enjoy meeting new people rather than running away and hiding in a stairwell or something, I am very happy that I finally am at that point. Everything in it's time... There was a button that I should have bought that epitomized fen culture for me. "In normal society, I'm short, fat, and weird. In fandom, I'm compact, cuddly, and interesting." That really does say it all.
I could talk about what we did at the con. I met a couple of Andrea's friends. We went to several nearby thrift stores. I met an old friend of my dad's, Rich Tucholka of Tri-Tac Games. But I guess we really could have done anything at the con and it wouldn't have made much difference. Except, that is, for the most important thing we did that weekend. Andrea and I spend hours talking. Just talking, looking into each other's eyes, laughing, crying,... I have feelings for her that, not only do I not have names for, I didn't even know they existed.
Of course there are complications with our relationship. Life always has complications. I'm not used to having things that I feel I can't explain, but text is not the medium for this and I would prefer to have Andrea with me in order to explain, so for the moment... I guess I'll have to be vague. Sorry. Depending on who you are, I might explain in person (with her permission). Or I might not. But I do appreciate my friends, all of you, for being willing to listen when I do have something I need to talk about. Jim, Benjie, Lander, Dave, everyone... thanks for being there.
Perhaps this journal has seemed self-indulgent of late. My brother claims that all LiveJournals are self indulgent and that he thusly isn't interested in reading them. But maybe that's the point. One of the most important rules of wrting is that one should know one's audience and keep them in mind. In this case, I suppose my audience is me. That's been the case since this was just a little bit of rambling on my webpage, and while I appreciate all those who think I'm interesting enough to keep reading these words, in the end this was meant to be for me. And since Andrea is a large part of my life, she will continue to be a large part of this journal. In other words, if you're getting bored hearing about the most special person in my life, then I'm sorry, but I'm not. *grin*
And now, if I can, I should get to bed so I can get up for work tomorrow. I'm probably going to start working 'till 6 instead of 5 so I can get nearer to 40 hours a week in. And if I take short lunches, I'll even be able to leave early Fridays so that I don't go into overtime. 'Till next!
*hugs*
