Posi's Housewarming
Aug. 7th, 2016 01:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogI've had very little experience interacting with babies. I was kind of nervous about the one who was here with her parents today. There's this very small human here and I don't know what to do with it! I ended up playing with her for a while late in the evening, making faces together, hiding behind Posi or under the table, and then alternately grabbing each others hands. It was pretty fun; babies aren't so hard to deal with I guess. Maybe I'm lucky that she was in a good mood the whole time.
The people were here were good folks. There was a high quotient of fairly loud people and it was a bit overwhelming for a time. I stood on the back balcony where Posi was grilling for a while. I listened to the Mexican music at the loud party that the backyard neighbors were having. I danced a little and picked out a few words. One of the guests commented negatively about there being such loud music later at night, but Posi and I love it. It helps make the place feel like community. And people are less likely to complain about loud parties he has too! There was the party across the backyard, and a house next door was having a bonfire in the back, and I was standing in the dark enjoying the Summer night. Maybe it says something about my social habits, but that might have been the nicest part of the night.
My godfather was here with my parents and made a common but sexist joke about parents handling their female child's dating with threats of violence against her partners; it upset me a lot and contributed to my feeling like I had to get away for a bit. Both the baby's parents and I indicated, non-confrontationally (perhaps less non-confrontationally on my part) that we do not see things that way. I said that if Danae and I have a daughter, she will get to decide on her own who she will or will not have sex with, as her body belongs to her, rather than to her parents.
I was feeling a lot of anxiety about the party too. Even though I was not the host, I felt like I was responsible for making sure people felt included and were having a good time. This is irrationaly, but hard for me to stop. I felt particularly bad that my parents, and my brother and his boyfriend, had brought a bunch of board games and didn't get to play with with anyone. But that's the way parties are; sometimes the kind of socialization happening doesn't lend itself to board games. They were not upset about that, though it was clear that my mother was feeling a bit left out when Tim and Shane and I retreated for a bit into a Factorio game on our laptops. Her laptop is 15 years old.
Danae did not make it over. She was having a high anxiety day herself, and was feeling one of the effects that sometimes manifest: almost any noise at all was triggering a physiological response of being seriously startled. Not conducive to a party. I worry about how anxious and stressed she's been about school lately. Maybe because it makes me think of how bad it got for me. I wish I could do more for her.
Tomorrow, Posi and I will probably play some more of our Factorio game and then I'll bike home while he heads to a conference for work. Said conference is at a water park resort in the Wisconsin Dells. Lucky.
The people were here were good folks. There was a high quotient of fairly loud people and it was a bit overwhelming for a time. I stood on the back balcony where Posi was grilling for a while. I listened to the Mexican music at the loud party that the backyard neighbors were having. I danced a little and picked out a few words. One of the guests commented negatively about there being such loud music later at night, but Posi and I love it. It helps make the place feel like community. And people are less likely to complain about loud parties he has too! There was the party across the backyard, and a house next door was having a bonfire in the back, and I was standing in the dark enjoying the Summer night. Maybe it says something about my social habits, but that might have been the nicest part of the night.
My godfather was here with my parents and made a common but sexist joke about parents handling their female child's dating with threats of violence against her partners; it upset me a lot and contributed to my feeling like I had to get away for a bit. Both the baby's parents and I indicated, non-confrontationally (perhaps less non-confrontationally on my part) that we do not see things that way. I said that if Danae and I have a daughter, she will get to decide on her own who she will or will not have sex with, as her body belongs to her, rather than to her parents.
I was feeling a lot of anxiety about the party too. Even though I was not the host, I felt like I was responsible for making sure people felt included and were having a good time. This is irrationaly, but hard for me to stop. I felt particularly bad that my parents, and my brother and his boyfriend, had brought a bunch of board games and didn't get to play with with anyone. But that's the way parties are; sometimes the kind of socialization happening doesn't lend itself to board games. They were not upset about that, though it was clear that my mother was feeling a bit left out when Tim and Shane and I retreated for a bit into a Factorio game on our laptops. Her laptop is 15 years old.
Danae did not make it over. She was having a high anxiety day herself, and was feeling one of the effects that sometimes manifest: almost any noise at all was triggering a physiological response of being seriously startled. Not conducive to a party. I worry about how anxious and stressed she's been about school lately. Maybe because it makes me think of how bad it got for me. I wish I could do more for her.
Tomorrow, Posi and I will probably play some more of our Factorio game and then I'll bike home while he heads to a conference for work. Said conference is at a water park resort in the Wisconsin Dells. Lucky.
