My Great-grandfather and Neurodivergence

[stormdog]

As folks may know, I have wondered whether I (and later, some immediate family members) were on the autism spectrum since I first encountered the concept in my 20s. I've been pretty sure that there is neurodivergence of some kind there.

I was told by a family member today that my great-grandfather, who not incidentally was a professional research chemist and a founding member of CalTech's ham radio club, customarily reversed the utensils for his table settings. He thought it would be more efficient if the utensils started out under the hand that they were going to be used by; otherwise there's wasted effort.

I'd often suspected, given his career and interests, that he was neurodivergent, maybe autistic, and somehow that little tidbit goes a long way to confirming that in my mind.

I say this every time I talk about him, but I really wish I could have met him.

Comments

[stormdog]

Oh, that's interesting! I don't really know much about formal table settings and dinner etiquette, to be quite honest. One friend of my parents would joke about formal etiquette, saying "don't you want to be able to eat with the queen?" or something like that. I suppose the queen thing is moot now!

[acelightning73]

Well, if Charlie should ever invite you to dinner! (And when you were a kid, at least once someone would say, "Go set the table for dinner, please.) A suitable task for a child, because you were taugtht, "forks on the right knives and spoons on the left, the tool that gets used first - the salad fork - goes on the outside, and as the meal progresses, you work your way towards the tools that are set closer to the plate, till you get to the cake fork and the dessert spoon.

Nobody teaches kids table manners, or even how to set a table, any more. People eat fast food (burgers, chicken, fries, pizza, sandwiches) with their hands, never mind silverware. Formal dining is not an enjoyable experience, although the food is often Michelin-quality (and composed of Waegyu beef, truffles, edible gold leaf, and caviar; and to some degree the personal service one gets can be amusing.

[acelightning73]

As a girl, I took Home Ec class in seventh grade, which was cooking and sewing. And the correct presentation and service of the food we women cooked was something we had to know. I have my mother's old copy of the Fanny Farmer Cookbook, from 1947, and there's a drawing of how to lay out a perfect Miss Manners formal table setting. And people think it's complicated to know which utensil to use for which food. The singer Pearl Bailey was at a hifalutin UN awards banquet, and the person sitting next to her was confused. And she said, "Just remember, the tool furthest from the plate, is the first one you use."