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serinthia sent me a nice e-mail with lots of information about her job in retail computer maintainence, which gave me a good amount to think about. Thank you Serinthia. I'll write you back when I'm feeling a little more together...

You know what I want from a job? Something that pays enough to live off of and doesn't alternately frustrate me and bore me to distraction. You know what I want from life? Someone to love, and to be loved by. That latter desire has now been fulfilled. My life should be complete. And it's pretty close to that. But this matter of a career keeps vexing me. I've been considering why this is. Not being related to having someone to love in my life, it shouldn't be a big issue. But the thing is, it is related. I so very much want to be something for her, even though she's told me that I don't need to do that for her, that if I make changes in my life it should be for me. Heh. I'm not sure a sharp distinction exists in my life between those two concepts right now. Not when I want everything I do to be for her. If I could spend my life making her happy, it would be a fulfilling existence...

And it is something I want for me. I want to be doing work I like, work that lets me take the occasional weekend and go to cons or what-have-you without worrying about money. I don't really want to be making minimum wage for the rest of my life. I don't need to be rich (though I wouldn't complain too much), but I do want to able to do the things that I want to do...
I talked to my dear one tonight. She told me to have faith. That everything will work out. And I believe it. With her in my life, I have a lot to have faith in.

But enough rambling. For now anyway. It's not like I'm, in general, going to stop anytime soon. Actually, speaking of writing and rambling, I still play with the idea of trying to make money writing. I really love to write. Somehow though, I can never get too far into a story. I think I'm too picky. I never used to write rough drafts in school (I didn't need to), and that bad habit is keeping me from completing a narrative. I keep going over and over what little I've written and getting bogged down... I should try and write something again soon. Maybe tonight. But for now, I'm going to go outside for a few minutes and enjoy the rain.

(no subject)

It's so peaceful outside in the wee hours of the morning. I took a walk around a couple blocks, enjoying the hint of a drizzle in the warm humid air, the feel of the wet pavement on my bare feet... I passed the used bookstore that's near my house. Owning a used book store would be fun. Except I have no business sense. *grin* I'd probably just end up buying every book I get offered... But it would be a fun job. Maybe working for one... I'm actually feeling pretty relaxed now after that pleasant little stroll. I was thinking about trying to write something, but I'm getting tired, I may just go to bed. It seems I have my grandparents house to visit tomorrow (along with the rest of my family) for Mother's Day.

My brother and his girlfriend have yet to return from the junior prom. He left while I was napping earlier today so I didn't get to see the tux he rented, but I understand it was a fairly interesting and unconventional one. *smile* I like his taste. I hope he and Lara are having a good time. Though I like to jokingly tease him about it, I'm glad he's enjoying that whole side of high school. I didn't go to my prom. In fact, I didn't go to any school dances. Except one that was mandatory. That seemed like a weird idea to me. As I recall, I snuck into the bleachers in the gym and laid down with a book...

I added a new icon to my LJ. It's on my previous entry. It's not terribly original, but that's ok