(no subject)

Andrea and I are continuing the search for a new (or, at least, different) car this weekend.

The Oldsmobile has a few issues. It needs a serious tune-up. No big surprise. Front and back shocks are bad, but I knew that. That won't kill me. The rotors need to be turned; well they're old, so I should have expected that. Again, won't kill me. (Yet.) They think it may or may not need a new carburetor. Well, ya know, it drives on the old one so that's ok with me. The true major problem is that the engine mounts (and transmission mounts) are bad. This is why my car is shaking like leaf when I accelerate. Since I would prefer not to have my engine fall out of my car as I drive, it's really not drivable at the moment. All in all, it's about $1000 worth of work. Honestly, if I had a decent job and didn't have to be quite so conservative with money as I do, I'd spend it. The Olds has been a great, amazingly reliable car and I like it a lot, but Andrea and I decided that we really can't afford to spend quite that much on the beast, and I understand. I even almost entirely agree. There's some small part of me that says that 'this'd be all it takes to keep going for another 6 months!' Heh.

My star and I drove around the used car lots yesterday afternoon. We got dinner at a Chinese Buffet, then went out to pick up the Olds outside the car shop. I turned the key and heard the 'click' of the starter engaging, but it didn't turn over. We had to jump it again. The beast just doesn't want to wake up anymore... I cried a bit as I followed my love and drove it home and then we decided to drive out in her car and look at some places up north where my love said there are often cars sitting out for sale by owner, half because we thought we might find a good deal and half because she thought the driving around and talking would make me feel better. I was kind of depressed.

As we talked, she said something that made me realize one of the reasons I feel so strongly about that car. It's not because it's my first car. That was actually my '79 F100 which is still, to my parents probable annoyance, in Wisconsin in their driveway. (Someday I'll have money to fix it up... I hope...) It's partially all the memories I have with it; being driven around in it before I had my license, learning to drive it when I did, driving down to Chicago and back to visit daveqat and others so often (the first time I visited he and Jim, they said they knew it was me when they saw the car drive up to the apartment building because "that's a gamer car.". Using it to haul my worldly possessions out to Michigan, freaking out and practically having a nervous breakdown as it overheated on the shoulder of I-94 40 miles into Illinois. (Remember not to drive like you're not hauling 1000 pounds of stuff behind you, ok?) It's even partially the memories I didn't quite have a chance to make with it. I always wanted to take Andrea to a drive in theatre in that car. It's just not the same with new cars. Stupid bucket seats...

But what she said is something I hadn't quite consciously realized; the Olds is a link to home for me. My Wisconsin home, because I have two. It's a link to my family and friends, and I think that's what is affecting me the most about considering giving it up. It's a reassuring presence to me, like the hammer my grandfather forged that's sitting on my stereo cabinet or the desk that my monitors are sitting on that has been with my family since our days in Illinois, when I crawled underneath and doodled on the underside. It's a remembrance of people that I love who I can't be with right now.

Well, my raccoon and I are off to look for a puppy mobile. I'll write more later...