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Jan. 19th, 2009 03:14 pmI would give about anything for a scalp rub right now. That end-of-the-day headache I used to get is coming back a bit. I've been eating bagels and peanut-butter today; maybe I need to get more cold cuts and cheese.
I'm stressed out about work. My manager is putting me on the on-call rotation once a month. I really don't want to deal with it, but I guess I will. I can't exactly say no when he accompanied the request by telling me he needs to see how I handle additional responsibility and indicates that he's not 100% sure I'm up to it.
Am I up to it? I guess so. I know I"m not familiar with all of the systems that I might be called on to deal with, and that I'm going to have to make the deciscion, if it comes to it, on whether whatever it is is important enough to wake someone else up over. I hate being in that position.
What it is, is that I hate being in a position where I don't have rigid structure to follow. I want to know what the rules are, what I'm supposed to be doing, and whether or not I'm doing the right thing. I hate ambiguity. I hate grey area. When it comes to my job, give me black and white any time. At least some clear goals and operating procedure. I hate winging it.
I've lost a lot of my sense of structure at work here and it's stressing me. Our new ticket tracking system doesn't fit my head and it's missing some of the tools I used to organize my work before. The unassigned queue is chaotic. The majority of things in there are for people at other locations and for systems I don't know. I've been told that I need to cross-train with the techs from the company we merged with and that our end goal is to get to a point where every tech can take calls for any office. I don't get that. Why train a team of generalists? Why not allow specialization and have people who can do things faster and more accurately because that's what they concentrate on? Apologies to Robert Heinlein, but specialization is not for insects; it's for organizing job functions. I do very well with specialization; I get very comfortable in my niche.
But my niche, which used to be primarily working new hires and terms, has gone away. My manager has moved that to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
serinthia in the interest of getting me to diversify more and "move out of my comfort zone". I don't want to move out of my comfort zone. I was happy where I was!
I really feel like there is too much to know in this case for what he wants to work, this 'anybody can take any call' thing. Especially when we're not getting any formal training or instruction on anything new. Just 'grab tickets you can work and check with someone from *other company* if you have questions'. I don't do well like this.
I feel frustrated at being called unreliable. I really feel like I'm reliable; I just don't really know what's expected of me. I also don't really feel like I can express that to my manager. I am much more rigid about these things than most people I think, and while I feel like I could be used more effectively in a position where I could use that to my advantage rather it being a disadvantage, I also know that rigidity is not what my manager is looking for, and I want to keep my job. So, I'll do what I can.
On the other hand, I get a bonus of $250 a week for being on call (though it will probably go down as part of cost-cutting in the future). I guess that helps a bit.
I'm going to have to replace my phone; the microphone on it has stopped working; I can hear other people but they can't hear me. I'm going to need a working cell phone to be on call...
I'm stressed out about work. My manager is putting me on the on-call rotation once a month. I really don't want to deal with it, but I guess I will. I can't exactly say no when he accompanied the request by telling me he needs to see how I handle additional responsibility and indicates that he's not 100% sure I'm up to it.
Am I up to it? I guess so. I know I"m not familiar with all of the systems that I might be called on to deal with, and that I'm going to have to make the deciscion, if it comes to it, on whether whatever it is is important enough to wake someone else up over. I hate being in that position.
What it is, is that I hate being in a position where I don't have rigid structure to follow. I want to know what the rules are, what I'm supposed to be doing, and whether or not I'm doing the right thing. I hate ambiguity. I hate grey area. When it comes to my job, give me black and white any time. At least some clear goals and operating procedure. I hate winging it.
I've lost a lot of my sense of structure at work here and it's stressing me. Our new ticket tracking system doesn't fit my head and it's missing some of the tools I used to organize my work before. The unassigned queue is chaotic. The majority of things in there are for people at other locations and for systems I don't know. I've been told that I need to cross-train with the techs from the company we merged with and that our end goal is to get to a point where every tech can take calls for any office. I don't get that. Why train a team of generalists? Why not allow specialization and have people who can do things faster and more accurately because that's what they concentrate on? Apologies to Robert Heinlein, but specialization is not for insects; it's for organizing job functions. I do very well with specialization; I get very comfortable in my niche.
But my niche, which used to be primarily working new hires and terms, has gone away. My manager has moved that to
serinthia in the interest of getting me to diversify more and "move out of my comfort zone". I don't want to move out of my comfort zone. I was happy where I was! I really feel like there is too much to know in this case for what he wants to work, this 'anybody can take any call' thing. Especially when we're not getting any formal training or instruction on anything new. Just 'grab tickets you can work and check with someone from *other company* if you have questions'. I don't do well like this.
I feel frustrated at being called unreliable. I really feel like I'm reliable; I just don't really know what's expected of me. I also don't really feel like I can express that to my manager. I am much more rigid about these things than most people I think, and while I feel like I could be used more effectively in a position where I could use that to my advantage rather it being a disadvantage, I also know that rigidity is not what my manager is looking for, and I want to keep my job. So, I'll do what I can.
On the other hand, I get a bonus of $250 a week for being on call (though it will probably go down as part of cost-cutting in the future). I guess that helps a bit.
I'm going to have to replace my phone; the microphone on it has stopped working; I can hear other people but they can't hear me. I'm going to need a working cell phone to be on call...
