Male Control of Public Space

My sweetie lisagems posted this comic elsewhere on the internet.

I love the attitude toward male harassment of women demonstrated by this poster/comic from Robot Hugs. It's a discussion of the function (and I say function in the sense of a causative element, not necessarily implying conscious, conspiratorial intent) of mild sexual harassment in exerting male control over women in public space. I agree, and I want to be part of changing the prevailing atmosphere.

I have trouble doing this in a few respects. First, because I want to see the best motivations in people's actions, and because I think I can be overly sensitive to issues of gender relations, I don't know that my perception of whether an action is harassment is always valid. Secondly, I also don't want to behave as though women I am with need my protection; that can be patriarchal in itself. (That, though, I can discuss with the women I am with. It also is not a factor if I am with men who are behaving this way about women who are not part of the group.)

Thirdly, I have a hard time discerning whether there are forms of objectification that are acceptable, and where the line is between acceptable and unacceptable forms. I enjoy being objectified myself from time to time. I don't necessarily dislike the idea that people might be looking at me and making comments about my appearance, especially (but not exclusively) within certain contexts like sci-fi/fantasy cons or ren faire. So asking myself whether a situation would make *me* feel like an uncomfortable recipient of an active, objectifying and/or controlling gaze does not give me an answer that applies to everyone else who is being so observed.

There are also muddied issues of gender; what if women behave in these ways? You could argue that this is some kind of internalized, self-destructive patriarchal beavhior, but that takes away women's agency as people who can choose for themselves how to behave and makes them tools of the system.

Don't misunderstand; I fully agree that the sort of behavior explained in this comic is hugely problematic. There is no doubt that it *is* a symptom of a patriarchal society based on unexamined assumptions about male power and control. I don't think there are absolutes to be followed in fighting this system though; like so many other things, it is contextual. And I want to be part of the fight against it, but it's hard for me to know when I should and when I shouldn't, and since I'm really conflict avoidant anyway, it's hard for me to act.

Car Electrical System Woes

Oh, I forgot to mention my car issues!

A week or two ago, Lisa borrowed my car to go to a bachelor/bachelorette party. When I got it back, the cigarette lighter and CB radios (that latter of which I had wired into the cigarette lighter wiring) weren't working. Lisa noted that she hadn't been able to charge things in the car, but wasn't sure when that started. I figured my wiring must have been bad, and decided to dig into it later.

Last week, my brother told me that my tail lights are not lighting up when the brakes are activated. The middle light at the bottom of the rear window works, but the two side ones do not. That, I thought, was a really odd set of things to fail together! I couldn't figure out how that could happen, but I also figured it must be related since it happened at the same time.

Yesterday, I bought a package of fuses (with one of those nice little pullers) and checked each fuse in the in-cabin fuse box. I replaced the cigarette lighter fuse, and that part of things was happy again. Maybe rather than my wiring, it's one of the devices I sometimes plug into it that I have to twist around to make work.

Anyway, with that fixed, my mother came out to look at the tail lights with me. They still don't work, so it must have been two unrelated issues that I just happened to become aware of at the same time. And now I have to figure out why my brake lights aren't working before I get a ticket! Good thing I almost never drive anywhere except when I visit my partners. The running lights and turn signals function of the same lamps work fine; it's just the brakes. Both filaments in the lamps are good too.

Hopefully this weekend, I can get over to Super-mechanic Juan's place and use his multimeter. Mine has been missing since moving out of my old rental house. There have been several times when I really could have used it in the last few years!