(no subject)

The unending stress and depression of the last few years was apparently not enough for me yet because I learned this morning that my father died last night. He'd been on dialysis for years now, which in the past few days had been complicated by some kind of fungal infection. I was a little worried, but it seemed like it was being handled. He had to go in to the hospital yesterday and did not make it through the night.

I'm in shock and feeling disconnected and kind of useless, but Miriam is trying to figure out logistics for me to get to Kenosha. I still don't have my permanent residence card, but at least I have a printable certificate to use instead. In conjunction with my US passport, that should let me leave Canada and come back. Miriam can't come with immediately because she has not replaced her passports that were lost in the fire yet. There was just always other stuff taking priority.

I'm probably going to fly in soon, and she may follow later, depending on paperwork. I'm scared to be away from her because she has literally kept me sane the last few years.

I'm thinking my mother may want to sell the house she's in after this, so I'm also likely going to rent a truck to pack all the stuff I have in storage there into and drive it back to Regina. That will be a *lot* of gas money, but we have a lot of cash in the bank right now from the fire insurance payments.

I'm feeling...confused? Many other things too, but it just doesn't feel real or right.