Group Identity

[stormdog]

I have been thinking lately of how I feel too contrarian to identify myself with any kind of socially constructed identity. In every group there are people who see things in a completely binary perspective, and I just can't do it. It makes me uncomfortable about considering myself a member of the trans community, or the queer community, even the broad social justice community. Hell yes, I am a proud SJW. At least I think I am. But my deepest instinct, when people make a statement about "the way things are"™ is to find the flaws in that statement. There are things that make me feel like a 'bad' or 'illegitimate' member of that community. Observing other people who feel othered by those groups for expressing thoughts I have reinforces that.

I can't believe something that doesn't make logical sense to me. I can't profess something I don't believe. I can't give any of that up to pursue feelings of group/identity membership that I do find legitimately lacking in my life.

Comments

[sabotabby]

That sounds a lot like imposter syndrome.

Like, I'm bi, but because the majority of people I've dated are cis men, I feel like a fake (and have been called that), as though my year-long relationship with a woman just...doesn't count? Or because I haven't been overtly gay-bashed or whatever, even though much of the bullying I experienced as a kid had homophobic undertones.

I also feel like an imposter Jew, even though, like, Nazis wouldn't consider me as such. Internalized hate is a helluva drug.