Our Flag Means Death - Trans Validation
Jul. 14th, 2022 12:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogI have a bunch to say about watching Our Flag Means Death with friends in a meta sense and in the context of my social and mental-health life at the moment. But here I'm going to talk about just one piece of the show itself and my feelings and how it got to me with some unexpected and profound transgender validation.
A spoiler follows, I think?
The scene that's been closest to my heart so far is about Ed and that piece of fine fabric he's kept since he was a child, feeling like it's not something that people like him are allowed to wear. Stede folds it into a pocket square and tucks it into Ed's shirt, and says "You wear fine things well."
That touched me pretty deeply even as I watched it. Thinking about it further on the way home, I consciously understood why that was, and then I tried not to think about it too much because it's not good to drive when you're crying a lot. 🙂
Stede's interaction with Ed brings up the feelings I have when Miriam tells me I look pretty in something I'm wearing, or otherwise validates my choices in how I present myself. I've wanted to wear these "fine" things since I was little, but I guess I believed that they weren't something that people like me, an AMAB person, got to wear. Being told that, if you want these things, you can have them, is just so much.
I was ok in the car the rest of the way home, and it was late so Miriam and I got to bed soon after. Beforehand, I took the dog for a walk still wearing the dress I had on as we were visiting friends for the show. Then I left the blinds open as I did a few things in the living room. That sense of validation helped me get past the fear of being seen as I am, at least for a little while. Coming in to the bedroom for the night, I had feels. Through a few more tears, I told Miriam that I can have these things if I want them, and nobody else gets to tell me I can't.
So there was some strong transgender validation from characters who aren't even transgender, because at the core of personal validation for *everyone* is the belief that people deserve to be safe in being their real selves.
Trans rights are human rights.
A spoiler follows, I think?
The scene that's been closest to my heart so far is about Ed and that piece of fine fabric he's kept since he was a child, feeling like it's not something that people like him are allowed to wear. Stede folds it into a pocket square and tucks it into Ed's shirt, and says "You wear fine things well."
That touched me pretty deeply even as I watched it. Thinking about it further on the way home, I consciously understood why that was, and then I tried not to think about it too much because it's not good to drive when you're crying a lot. 🙂
Stede's interaction with Ed brings up the feelings I have when Miriam tells me I look pretty in something I'm wearing, or otherwise validates my choices in how I present myself. I've wanted to wear these "fine" things since I was little, but I guess I believed that they weren't something that people like me, an AMAB person, got to wear. Being told that, if you want these things, you can have them, is just so much.
I was ok in the car the rest of the way home, and it was late so Miriam and I got to bed soon after. Beforehand, I took the dog for a walk still wearing the dress I had on as we were visiting friends for the show. Then I left the blinds open as I did a few things in the living room. That sense of validation helped me get past the fear of being seen as I am, at least for a little while. Coming in to the bedroom for the night, I had feels. Through a few more tears, I told Miriam that I can have these things if I want them, and nobody else gets to tell me I can't.
So there was some strong transgender validation from characters who aren't even transgender, because at the core of personal validation for *everyone* is the belief that people deserve to be safe in being their real selves.
Trans rights are human rights.
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Date: 2022-07-14 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-15 05:57 pm (UTC)