Night Fear, In-person Work Stuff Again
Jan. 4th, 2023 06:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogI heard a noise last night, around 11 o' clock, that sounded like two sharp raps on the apartment door. I got out of bed, found clothes, looked through the window, and opened the door. There wasn't anyone there. I'm thinking now that maybe it was something the cat knocked over.
I had medium-high intensity fear for a while after, and it was keeping me from sleeping. I got up again and rechecked the lock on the door. I closed the blinds behind the trans flag I have in front of the window for fear of being targeted because of it. I cuddled with and talked to Miriam for a while, and then tried to concentrate on the feeling of the dog lying against my side.
Eventually I got to sleep, but I'm up super early: even earlier than I'd planned.
Miriam needs to start going to an in-person meeting once a week starting today, so we're both getting up earlier than usual so I can drive her to the campus. She hasn't been regularly working in person since Covid really got going in early 2020 after our move to the Netherlands, so this is taking some getting used to.
It's just a few people, and she'll be masking and coming back after the meetings, so we're hoping it will be safe enough, and she doesn't really have a choice.
I had medium-high intensity fear for a while after, and it was keeping me from sleeping. I got up again and rechecked the lock on the door. I closed the blinds behind the trans flag I have in front of the window for fear of being targeted because of it. I cuddled with and talked to Miriam for a while, and then tried to concentrate on the feeling of the dog lying against my side.
Eventually I got to sleep, but I'm up super early: even earlier than I'd planned.
Miriam needs to start going to an in-person meeting once a week starting today, so we're both getting up earlier than usual so I can drive her to the campus. She hasn't been regularly working in person since Covid really got going in early 2020 after our move to the Netherlands, so this is taking some getting used to.
It's just a few people, and she'll be masking and coming back after the meetings, so we're hoping it will be safe enough, and she doesn't really have a choice.
