Condo Visit
Feb. 28th, 2023 08:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogThis Thursday, Miriam and I are meeting a contractor with the restoration company at our condo to "go over some things." "Due to the extent of the repairs," they say, "we will have lots of questions for you."
I imagine they'll have questions about materials or styles or something. We'll also ask them about replacing the bathtub with a walk-in shower, installing dishwasher connections that weren't there, and a couple other things.
But this will also be our first time inside the condo since it was a stinking, boarded-up shell full of the blackened remnants of most of our possessions, and we're not sure how we'll react. We both want to be able to live in it after it's restored, but we're worried there will be trauma-related fear and anxiety just being in the space. There's also fear and anxiety about how we're going to manage finding a place to live if the fear and anxiety of being there is enough that living there will retraumatize us, so that's a fun balance to strike.
If we want anything done that is different or an add-on from how it was, they'll probably need to get quotes. That will at least provide time for us to decide whether it makes sense, and we can afford, to have any upgrades done. If we're living there, certain things would be really nice. But if we're not living there, then certain things will make it easier to sell, too.
I'm still feeling a lot of guilt and shame about our unit being the cause of all the damage and disruption to our neighbors, and am scared about being around them. And that's without even wondering if any of them are going to be transphobes and whether I'll feel a need to hide that part of myself while we're there. And it seems to be a place where it's not unusual for people to be out on their patios in nice weather, so avoiding them on trips to the dumpster on the other side of the small complex, for instance, will be hard.
Yesterday, though, I was finally able to physically deliver our finished schedule of loss to the insurance adjuster, so the time frame on that is out of our hands for the moment. Now I just wait and see what's next, and how long it takes them to look through it and get back to us.
I imagine they'll have questions about materials or styles or something. We'll also ask them about replacing the bathtub with a walk-in shower, installing dishwasher connections that weren't there, and a couple other things.
But this will also be our first time inside the condo since it was a stinking, boarded-up shell full of the blackened remnants of most of our possessions, and we're not sure how we'll react. We both want to be able to live in it after it's restored, but we're worried there will be trauma-related fear and anxiety just being in the space. There's also fear and anxiety about how we're going to manage finding a place to live if the fear and anxiety of being there is enough that living there will retraumatize us, so that's a fun balance to strike.
If we want anything done that is different or an add-on from how it was, they'll probably need to get quotes. That will at least provide time for us to decide whether it makes sense, and we can afford, to have any upgrades done. If we're living there, certain things would be really nice. But if we're not living there, then certain things will make it easier to sell, too.
I'm still feeling a lot of guilt and shame about our unit being the cause of all the damage and disruption to our neighbors, and am scared about being around them. And that's without even wondering if any of them are going to be transphobes and whether I'll feel a need to hide that part of myself while we're there. And it seems to be a place where it's not unusual for people to be out on their patios in nice weather, so avoiding them on trips to the dumpster on the other side of the small complex, for instance, will be hard.
Yesterday, though, I was finally able to physically deliver our finished schedule of loss to the insurance adjuster, so the time frame on that is out of our hands for the moment. Now I just wait and see what's next, and how long it takes them to look through it and get back to us.
