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May. 31st, 2003 02:29 amYa know, I don't want to sound grumpy. Honestly. However... I feel a little grumpy. I'm certainly not complaining about my two friends who I am helping out today by going out to Masison with them. I like helping my friends. I'm just feeling pressed for time tonight, and since this is a forum to discuss my feelings, that's what I'm doing. My weekends always dissappear so quickly...
I really ought to be in bed. I've got a (relatively) long drive tomorrow and I should rest. I will soon. I just find myself staying up late on weekends simply because it's the only time I have to get anything done. I find myself pushing to stay up and work on my 'puters or read, or just clean up and do laundry into the wee hours just 'cause I hate wasting any moment of spare time... This doesn't feel right. Weekends ought to be relaxing, not more stressful. And they are relaxing, mostly. There's just that ever present stress too, of knowing that my precious couple days of time for myself and what I want to do is dwindling away. I could probably be doing anything and feel the same way to some extent.
I just think it would be nice to get out to the picnic at Starved Rock today and meet some more of the local furs. I really don't know all that many of them. I would like to get to know more of them, especially since I probably have a, though fairly substantial, finite time to do so before the path my life is going down leads me to new ground... And just to make it clear, I'm not objecting to that either. Nothing on earth will keep me from my beloved's side once circumstances are right for us to be together. It's just that whole 'change' thing that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kittylad was talking about in his LJ a little while ago. Change is often a little painful, even if thouroughly thought out and entirely embraced. I think if anyone could enter a major life change without just a touch of worry, they don't really have a grasp of just what they're getting into. Me, I know what I'm getting into. And it's what I want. What I need. Wherever Andrea is is my home...
Anyway, I'm rambling. I miss Andrea. I didn't get to talk to her tonight. I'm so used to spending nearly every night chatting with her for hours... She's probably at the place where she and her family will be staying for the weekend.
*sigh* I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed. .......After Windows 2000 finally finishes installing on the second HP PII box....
I really ought to be in bed. I've got a (relatively) long drive tomorrow and I should rest. I will soon. I just find myself staying up late on weekends simply because it's the only time I have to get anything done. I find myself pushing to stay up and work on my 'puters or read, or just clean up and do laundry into the wee hours just 'cause I hate wasting any moment of spare time... This doesn't feel right. Weekends ought to be relaxing, not more stressful. And they are relaxing, mostly. There's just that ever present stress too, of knowing that my precious couple days of time for myself and what I want to do is dwindling away. I could probably be doing anything and feel the same way to some extent.
I just think it would be nice to get out to the picnic at Starved Rock today and meet some more of the local furs. I really don't know all that many of them. I would like to get to know more of them, especially since I probably have a, though fairly substantial, finite time to do so before the path my life is going down leads me to new ground... And just to make it clear, I'm not objecting to that either. Nothing on earth will keep me from my beloved's side once circumstances are right for us to be together. It's just that whole 'change' thing that
kittylad was talking about in his LJ a little while ago. Change is often a little painful, even if thouroughly thought out and entirely embraced. I think if anyone could enter a major life change without just a touch of worry, they don't really have a grasp of just what they're getting into. Me, I know what I'm getting into. And it's what I want. What I need. Wherever Andrea is is my home...Anyway, I'm rambling. I miss Andrea. I didn't get to talk to her tonight. I'm so used to spending nearly every night chatting with her for hours... She's probably at the place where she and her family will be staying for the weekend.
*sigh* I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed. .......After Windows 2000 finally finishes installing on the second HP PII box....
