![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Apr. 22nd, 2013 05:50 pmI guess I'm having a difficult time today. I'm getting B's on most of my school work. I am not used to this and it makes me feel dumb. It introduces self-doubt about something I see as a part of my self-identity; my facility with thoughts and concepts. It makes me worry about my likelihood of being accepted by a good grad school and finding a funded position in a very competitive field.
Writing this publicly feels like a confession of some dark secret that will affect how others see me. It probably seems like an overreaction. Maybe it is, but this is a mental weak spot for me I suppose. I'm scared, too, about the upcoming assignments that I'm working on. I don't know whether they'll come out any better, though I'm trying. I'm worried that this is not a reflection of not having enough time to get everything done, but instead a reflection of inability to do top-level work. It makes me worry about taking more 300 level courses in the Fall. Though having fewer credits will help with that a bit. But I feel in part like maybe I don't know how to write the kinds of papers and exams expected of me.
Writing this publicly feels like a confession of some dark secret that will affect how others see me. It probably seems like an overreaction. Maybe it is, but this is a mental weak spot for me I suppose. I'm scared, too, about the upcoming assignments that I'm working on. I don't know whether they'll come out any better, though I'm trying. I'm worried that this is not a reflection of not having enough time to get everything done, but instead a reflection of inability to do top-level work. It makes me worry about taking more 300 level courses in the Fall. Though having fewer credits will help with that a bit. But I feel in part like maybe I don't know how to write the kinds of papers and exams expected of me.
