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Apr. 4th, 2004 01:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stormdogI had one of the most direct dreams I can remember a few nights ago. Most of my dreams involve strange, abstract things like (example here) a war casualty funeral procession going in inside the auditorium of the community theatre where I worked in Kenosha while I sat in an ice cream cafe (it was, for some reason, at the stage end of the house right aisle, next to and up above the stage) and tried to eat, except they had to give me a 'long stick' first, which turned out to be this weird sort of wooden spaghetti scooper that I had to eat the ice cream with. Then I walked down the aisle to the front of the theatre and back up the middle aisle toward the stage, but I stopped to tie my shoe. Then one of the soldiers in the procession called out 'The captain is kissing his shoes!' and everyone reacted as though this was an event of great significance. I tried to tell them that I was really not the captain and wasn't kissing my shoes, just tying them, but I woke up. As far as wierdness in my dreams, this is fairly representative. But I digress.
This direct dream involved, simply enough, my love,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wooisme, getting supremely tired of all my questions and telling me that she wasn't going to deal with them, or me, anymore. See, for those who don't know me, I have a couple bits of skewed neurology which fit fairly smoothly into certain categories, one of them being 'Asperger's Syndrome'. To remove even more water from an already condensed story, this means I have a certain naivete about a great many aspects of things like social interaction and with generalizing single experiences to cover similar situations. I have to ask my love questions. A lot of questions. The night before, my questions had frustrated her terribly and I went to sleep that night stewing over my worries and frustrations with myself. Admittedly, the next day she told me that it really wasn't my fault and I felt much better. Still, I have realized, since my move to Michigan, that I really am disadvantaged in a lot of ways.
It's something I knew intellectualy, but I'd never really had it made blatantly obvious to me. Andrea is the first person I've ever had a relationship with, let alone lived with, and it has been an exhilarating, terrifying, wonderful, frustrating, enlightening, strange, and beautiful experience. As I told my star in one of my first emails to her, 'there is no great beauty that hath not some strangeness in proportion'. I get so terribly frustrated with her sometimes, but mainly with myself for not being able to understand so many things that are second nature to most of humanity. Still, through all of it, this has been and continues to be an intense learning experience. I'm learning about myself and about my relationship to my beloved and to the world. I get scared and confused sometimes, but I keep growing and I keep believing that things will work out. That's life.
*shrug* In other news, I'm considering building another system for myself. I am rationalizing that I need something relatively modern for dealing with whatever hardware needs school will impose on me. Right now, I don't have anything running XP, which is what I'll be learning there. I'm still using a PII 400 (overclocked to 450) running 98SE. So, here's what I'm considering upgrading to;
Motherboard; Abit NF7-S v2
CPU; Athlon XP 3000 w 400MHZ FSB with a thermalright slk-900 heatsink and a vantech tornado as my active air cooling solution. (Not going to water just yet...)
Memory; 512MB of PC3200 (to match the 400FSB of course) DDR for now, maybe more later.
The rest will migrate from my current system. I had originally intended to spend in the 300 dollar range, but it looks like that will cost close to 400. But I've been being a good doggy and working overtime and saving money... and I do need better hardware if I'm going to be a professional computer techy, don't I? I'll think about it. Maybe I'll make orders tomorrow...
It's really late. I should go to bed now. But I may play for a little while with the new computer games (including Half Life Opposing Force) I got cheap at a thrift store while out with my sweetie today first...
This direct dream involved, simply enough, my love,
wooisme, getting supremely tired of all my questions and telling me that she wasn't going to deal with them, or me, anymore. See, for those who don't know me, I have a couple bits of skewed neurology which fit fairly smoothly into certain categories, one of them being 'Asperger's Syndrome'. To remove even more water from an already condensed story, this means I have a certain naivete about a great many aspects of things like social interaction and with generalizing single experiences to cover similar situations. I have to ask my love questions. A lot of questions. The night before, my questions had frustrated her terribly and I went to sleep that night stewing over my worries and frustrations with myself. Admittedly, the next day she told me that it really wasn't my fault and I felt much better. Still, I have realized, since my move to Michigan, that I really am disadvantaged in a lot of ways.It's something I knew intellectualy, but I'd never really had it made blatantly obvious to me. Andrea is the first person I've ever had a relationship with, let alone lived with, and it has been an exhilarating, terrifying, wonderful, frustrating, enlightening, strange, and beautiful experience. As I told my star in one of my first emails to her, 'there is no great beauty that hath not some strangeness in proportion'. I get so terribly frustrated with her sometimes, but mainly with myself for not being able to understand so many things that are second nature to most of humanity. Still, through all of it, this has been and continues to be an intense learning experience. I'm learning about myself and about my relationship to my beloved and to the world. I get scared and confused sometimes, but I keep growing and I keep believing that things will work out. That's life.
*shrug* In other news, I'm considering building another system for myself. I am rationalizing that I need something relatively modern for dealing with whatever hardware needs school will impose on me. Right now, I don't have anything running XP, which is what I'll be learning there. I'm still using a PII 400 (overclocked to 450) running 98SE. So, here's what I'm considering upgrading to;
Motherboard; Abit NF7-S v2
CPU; Athlon XP 3000 w 400MHZ FSB with a thermalright slk-900 heatsink and a vantech tornado as my active air cooling solution. (Not going to water just yet...)
Memory; 512MB of PC3200 (to match the 400FSB of course) DDR for now, maybe more later.
The rest will migrate from my current system. I had originally intended to spend in the 300 dollar range, but it looks like that will cost close to 400. But I've been being a good doggy and working overtime and saving money... and I do need better hardware if I'm going to be a professional computer techy, don't I? I'll think about it. Maybe I'll make orders tomorrow...
It's really late. I should go to bed now. But I may play for a little while with the new computer games (including Half Life Opposing Force) I got cheap at a thrift store while out with my sweetie today first...
