MeghanIsMe

I have such fear and anxiety about trying to join online communities that it's mostly kept me from trying my entire life. But I finally managed to not get past that fear, but at least sort of disassociate from it long enough to join a T4T Friends/dating Discord server. To get access to the rest of the channels, there's an introduction to fill out that includes age, and I would clearly be one of the oldest people there, if not the oldest. I'm scrolling past a few people in their 30s, but most people are between 18 and their early 20s. I feel like I'll either have no one interested in talking to me, or I'll just look like a creep. And this is exacerbating my fear that, by the time it's possible to significantly reduce Covid restrictions for in-person stuff, I'll be old enough that no one will be interested.

I'm not sure if I can manage to write an intro here.

ETA: I left the server. I could join again later if it seems like something I could do.

The professor who teaches my research design class, which the whole incoming cohort is in, will be out of town next week. To make up for the class, he took us all out for dinner at the restaurant inside a local hotel just off campus. One of the most memorable parts of dinner with my cohort tonight, for me, anyway, came during a conversation about life paths and whether people went directly to grad school or not. I mentioned that I was turning 37 this year, to which one of the other students exclaimed "I didn't know you were that old!"

Yeah. Thanks, kid. That reminds of when I was in my mid-twenties and someone, at a furry event if I recall, referred to my ex and I as "an old married couple."

I honestly forget how old I am. I reread my post and that number seems so odd to me I had to think about it for a second and do the math to make sure it's correct.

Speaking of the passage of time, I was reminded in class today that there is only one more discussion session for my poli sci class. Then there's Thanksgiving break, and then we're presenting on our papers. Which I have made next to no progress on, other than deciding on a topic and getting a sketchy outline approved. But at least that's something.

And speaking of life paths, my two sessions with the counselor have been helpful, more or less. I talked about how much I love working in the library and with archives and about the possibility of doing an MLIS after my geography master's (assuming I complete it). She suggested I talk to the map librarian here at SU about his career path and my ideas about mine. I think that's a really good idea, and have added a to-do to my list to make an appointment. We have an appointment over the break, and I'm also going to meet with one of the organizers of the grad student group therapy sessions so I can get into them next semester.

Despite the fact that I did the barest of skimming through readings for class today, I managed to talk semi-intelligently about them in the little group discussion I was in. This was a bigger relief than it might have been because the professor decided to sit in with one other student and myself to make a group. No pressure, right? The reading we talked most about was a qualitative study of implementation problems within prison education systems, which was more interesting to me than most of the literature in that class, so that was a help.

I got to the doctor this morning to get my pain issue checked out. I'm not particularly worried about privacy, but I'll put details behind a cut to save you from unwanted exposure to ( taboo body parts. )

After dinner, one of the three classmates I got together with for Spanish practice a few weeks ago mentioned that they might be getting together for something over Thanksgiving break and asked whether I'd be around. It felt nice to be thought of and included. Maybe Danae and I can have dinner with some folks while she's here.

That's today's excitement in my world. How are you?