Job Application

I submitted a job application!

I haven't done job hunting since moving to Europe 3-4 years ago, with the exception of when I worked for a bicycle food delivery company for a whole one day in Amsterdam.

The description of the job that I'm trying really hard to get an application together for says "Special Application Instructions: "We know imposter syndrome can get in the way, so please don’t hesitate to apply. We’d love to hear from you. Submit your application today!"

It's hard to express how much better that makes me feel about applying!

I only found the listing Thursday of last week and the application deadline was this past Monday, so I had to get my stuff together in a hurry. Miriam was a *hugs* help in getting a CV up to date, as was one of the local friends we stayed with after the fire and who is a librarian.

Oh, I didn't mention this is a library job. The official title is Archives Assistant. It doesn't require an MLIS so it probably doesn't pay as well as something that does, but I'd still rather be in the archives if I possibly can. I love archives so much! Actually, I joked that I wish I could make my cover letter just say:

Dear hiring committee:
OMG OMG pleeeeeease let me come touch the old books and maps and stuff? They're so cool and I want to be one of the cool kids again!
Sincerely,
xxx

On Friday afternoon, I emailed or messaged a few people I've worked with, asking if they would be willing to be professional references for me. I was worried I wouldn't here back from them, but in fact I heard from nearly all of them, all of whom were willing to be references. Two of them are current library directors, one is an assistant director, and one is an archivist, and they all said they enjoyed working with me and I did great work for them and that really helps with the impostor syndrome too.

I'm frankly terrified of figuring out how to deal with interviewing and working while masking against Covid. I'm scared that I won't be able to mesh socially with the people I work with. I'm scared that I'm going to stick out like this for the rest of my life and it's exhausting. But I'm going to do my best to figure this out, along with Miriam.

Miriam and I have talked about what we would put some money toward if I become gainfully employed and the first thing on the list is more consistent therapy for both of us. Because health plans still think brains (as well as teeth) are luxury organs.

Anime, Meds, Saskatoon, Eye Doctor, Zoo

Because people with mental illnesses can be really bad at following up on things, I was out of my meds for about a week. I finally got in to see the doctor who is managing my HRT and she renewed all the things for me and I'm hoping I will be a bit more stable being back on bupropion as an anti-depressant. Seeing Dr. Clark was affirming and reassuring and just wonderful as always. She really is a provincial treasure.

I was still kind of crashy yesterday evening even though I had a fantastic experience at the optometrist.
The doctor and her staff were all wearing masks. This is why we chose the place, but it was still just fabulous to see. Everyone was super supportive in their interactions with me. Being with Miriam, we both talked a bunch about face appearance stuff with one of the staff members, and she gave us a recommendation for somewhere for eyebrow threading. All my interactions with them were positive and gender affirming and it was just wonderful. I told the doctor about what I was doing in grad school in Syracuse and she asked me to "please run for mayor." *laughs*

Still, there was a lot of social time when I'm not used to that and it was kind of exhausting. I napped when I got home and then did a bunch of laundry (or maybe it was the other way around?) and that helped, but I was still down afterward. I sat next to Miriam and tried watching an anime series called Dragon Goes House Hunting because it seemed fun, but it actually made me cry a lot. The dragon, who is written as though he's about 10 years old, gets kicked out of his house and is attacked by various groups, including dwarves who want to vivisect him. He keeps getting away, but he's so sad and scared and lonely and just wants to go home and it hurt my heart.

At the end, he meets the elf he's been looking for who runs a construction and real estate company (I think?). The elf finds him while a group of self-proclaimed "heroes" is harassing him and shooting arrows at him because he is an evil creature who must be destroyed.

At the end of the first episode, the elf uses some kind of magic that near instantaneously leaves the heroes as a smouldering pile of bones and armor, and I was pleased. I still cried on Miriam's shoulder for a while after. Maybe it'll be less hard on me when I'm in better headspace and am more regulated by meds.

Miriam and I drove to Saskatoon to see a second rheumatologist in the ongoing pursuit of a diagnosis for her. We are both cautiously optimistic about her. While we were in Saskatoon, we went to the zoo for an hour before they closed too! Over the winter, they do admission by donation, and there is a lot of outdoor stuff that's pretty Covid safe. Little Meghan has wanted to go to a zoo for a long time (I used to bike to Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago sometimes and I really miss that), and we both had a really fun time looking at cute aminals. The dingoes kept trying to sniff and lick our hands through the glass of their enclosure.

So now I'm waiting to hear back on the job, and trying to be a bit less crazy. And making cookies. Right now, this moment, I am cooking cookies!

Done with Insurance?

Our final paperwork from insurance got here for us to sign. It has a cost breakdown that seems to be exclusive of the construction/rebuild work. They spent over $33,000 on rent for our temporary furnished apartment, which kind of blows my mind. They paid the condo corporation $10,000 for something unspecified, and $35,00 to us and a disaster response company for what looks like a combination of personal possession replacement and disaster mitigation work. With a few other things, it comes out to $79,004. Without the construction work, and repair work for neighboring units, whose total probably dwarfs the rest.

If we hadn't had insurance, we would be bankrupt so many times over. We have one last check coming for about $1000.