MeghanIsMe

The last week has been pretty rough for me, mental health-wise. It's a significant contrast to the few weeks before that. Yesterday, I decided that a significant portion of it is due to Miriam's upcoming doctor's appointment on Tuesday. That test isn't done yet, and even if it was, it's taken so long to get anywhere. I've had really high hopes that the new information from the x-ray will lead to a diagnosis and treatment, but as the date gets closer my anxiety about it has become serious enough to affect my day-to-day functioning.

I want so dearly for her to not hurt this much anymore. The prospect that maybe she will is devastating.

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Partly because I wasn't up to doing a lot else, I watched some anime yesterday. Specifically, the last 4 episodes or so of Do It Yourself!!, about a DIY club at a girls' high school and the friendships and connections between the girls who are part of it.

The majority was really light and happy, and there were often little tutorials about how some of the projects were being done, and it makes me happy to think that the show might help girls become more confident about their ability to make and do things. In that way, it was kind of like the way Long Riders! seemed to be inspiring girls to feel confident about bicycling, and I love them both for that.

Near the end, one of the characters, an American exchange student, leaves to go home. It turns out that her mother died some years ago and she lives with her dad, who's been quiet and withdrawn with her ever since. That was unexpected, especially given the tone of the show in general, and it really got me: I was crying my eyes out for a while afterward.

Serufu and Purin's friendship and relationship - seeing them openly caring about each other like they once did - had me crying happy tears near the end too. Maybe I'm prone to crying a lot right now though.
On a lighter note, the American exchange student is supposedly a native English speaker, and she says lots of things in English throughout the show. Friends, her English is *hilariously* bad. I got so many laughs out of listening to this "native English speaker" saying things in English that many native speakers wouldn't have a clue about the meaning of.

But then I thought about creating a show in the US with a Japanese character from Japan who supposedly speaks excellent Japanese but is played by an actor who has no Japanese fluency whatsoever, and it felt kind of awkward.

One last thing that I loved: one of the girls' parents run a hardware store called Waku Waku Wan Wan, which more or less translates to "excited barking," and the shop's logo is a dog holding a hammer in its mouth. I want to shop there!

Damn it, I'm so tired of seeing people forced into doing things like creating go-fund-me accounts to pay medical bills. This is god-damned ridiculous in this country. There is no legitimate reason for the United States' healthcare system to be structured this way. There is no reason to continue to accept this system as it is. There were moments in my 700 mile drive to get dental care for my girlfriend and I that were enjoyable. But the fact that I had to make that trip is inexcusable. Just inexcusable. And you know what's worse? The fact that I *could* make that trip puts me in a position of privilege. I had the *privilege* of driving three states away for healthcare and a part of me is grateful that I had the car and disposable income to do it with. The United States may not be a third world county, but there are sure as hell people living here who, in very significant aspects, wouldn't know the difference.

I was just finishing that rant up when Miriam called. We talked for a bit which is a wonderful thing. I'm not as angry as I was when I started this, and I can look at it with some distance. Doing so, I'm still content to let it stand as is. I do not see this as an acceptable situation.

It's hard to know what to do. One thing I can do, as can you if you're in the US, if laws and regulations allow, is to vote for Bernie Sanders in the Democratic primary. Especially if you're in a contested state. He's the best option available at the moment for national implementation of things like a single-payer healthcare system, free higher education, and similar socialist policies.

(I know some people will argue that voting is useless. There's a rational argument to be made for that, but here and now is a poor time to make it. We can talk about it another time, but I can't do so calmly at the moment.)

Even though I finally have health coverage via the state Medicaid program, there's only one dental clinic local to me that can see me, and their first available new patient enrollment is June 4th. Meanwhile, someone very dear to me who has no options for affordable dental care at all is buying antibiotics intended for use in aquariums to treat her abscessed tooth.

I have to wait five months to see a dentist, and she has to take fish pills. God-damned fish pills. For fucking fish.

Tell me again how my country has the best health care system in the world?

I'm not feeling tremendously angry about this right now, as I have been off and on. Just resigned. It boggles my mind that there are people who think this status quo is fine and dandy.